Wednesday 31 August 2022

Arms to hug and hold me.

 May 2019 - my last hug and glimpse of my dearest darling children en grandchildren.


2020: My trip on hold: Who would have thought the world would change so dramatically in such a short space in time.


2022: Finally:  Arms to hold me, hugs to give


I've lived back  in the country of my birth from 1 July 2000. In that time I have flown back to my second home,  to Aotearoa/ New Zealand and Australia on average every 15 months, till 2019 that is.  My planned trip for the end of 2020 was put on hold. Not only because of Corona but also due to the restricted access one had to a much desired entry ticket to get into Aotearoa/New Zealand. The government had closed its doors to keep its people safe and operated a sort of lucky dip for those needing/wanting to go home. I didn't participate. Left the space I might take up for those with even more pressing needs. This doesn't make me a saint, just felt uncomfortable in case I got 'lucky' and someone needing to be with their dying parent, wedding or birth event lost out. And I've not even mentioned to huge costs of the quarantine hotels.

The virus hasn't gone but the immediate danger, the heaviness of the pandemic has subsided. Yes, one can still become very ill. Some may even not survive but most will. Thankful for the vaccination available is all I can say. After purchasing my ticket, which due to the fuel costs and other related reasons why had risen dramatically,  and applying for my Traveler's Declaration now required before entry I am now able to fly to hug and hold once again. I have NEVER been away from my children for this length of time. It was hard. Emotionally I coped, only just, having the support of many around me who helpen me through dark periods. I am so grateful for these support groups. Reading about more pressing and devastatingly sad cases I felt guilty at times about my own misery. Grateful too was I that there were no serious issues why I might have felt the pressing desire and need to be with my children. Great disasters were spared us. Many were not that fortunate.

So, looking forward and with renewed joy in my heart I am preparing to venture across the miles, different rules, new airport as I am taking an airline new to me. I believe masks will be required all the way: all 24-26 hours roughly which it will take to reach my destination. That'll be a challenge. At the end of that: 


arms which will embrace me. And that's the moment I yearn for. 


Be good - be kind - keep smiling.


Monday 22 August 2022

What are you thinking?


Marcus Aurelius Antoninus: 26 April 121 – 17 March 180 was Roman emperor 

from 161 to 180 and a Stoic philosopher.

This made me ponder on the topic. Am I master ( mistress) of my own destination or are things pre-ordained? Or is it a bit of both?

One of the more frequent statements I hear around me is, " Have you noticed how short fused people are these days?" It is August 2022. We are trying to haul the world out of a pandemic. Some say we already have left that behind us, while others maintain a strict lifestyle being guarded and insecure in their actions limiting movement and one could say, the joys of life. Of course there are also those who have denied the whole pandemic as a myth, and those who have adapted and learnt to be aware, to chance to a new normal, a safe, healthy lifestyle. Getting on with life as best they see fit. Doing what feels comfortable and safe. 

Perception of the situation at hand and acting according to one's nature and self-reliance?

I am occasionally inclined to think that the pandemic isn't only about a virus, becoming ill and the most dreadful of consequence could be death, but that it doesn't 'just' affect our physical state of being but also infects our psychological state. The recovery results are varied. Well, that's the thought in my mind at present. This is as a result of what I experience of the changes in society in general.

I notice little of the relief that the reduction in the wave of destruction COVID brought has ebbed. I do notice short fused, irritated and impatient people quick to complain about trivial ( or more impacting) situations. The pandemic has not only made many physically ill, the brain too has been affected. Is that a panic reaction?  I hear sounds in the conversations that people feel they are 'owed' freedom now the dangers have ( relatively) passed. That the governments concerned 'robbed' them of freedom while not acknowledging that even for them this was un-chartered waters and needed to take a stand to keep the populations safe if that was at all possible. 

                           Perception of the situation at hand and acting according to one's insecurity?

Short staffed in many areas ( not just here in the Netherlands but world wide) has seen some disturbing fracas taking place. Heated discussions and even violence well above proportion for the 'complaint' one might say. Greed is another trait I've seen on the rise. This too in the recent crime figures, the new ways to undo one of personal belongings including money. Elderly often but not solely, being targets of villainous actions. Going door to door to 'check' the corona vaccination pasport and thereby gaining access to homes. Or pretending to be from the health department checking if the ventilation in the home is working properly, to name a few tricks I read in the paper about. Sad and deplorable. working from home and people being limited in moving about freely changed the face of the criminal's actions. Even they have adapted their modus operandi. Once the working at home rule was relaxed, home invasion thefts was once again on the rise. 

                             Perception of the situation at hand and acting according to one's lack of morals?

Standing in the queue waiting to be served, at the airport, train and someone finally 'snapping' and lashing out at personal who are working their butts off coping with less colleagues to get the job done. Businesses understaffed causing problems in all kinds of sectors. Where have all these people gone? Some who had severe COVID are sick at home still, suffering long term damage, some have changed jobs. With cafes and restaurants having been closed for long periods staff have moved on and many not returning. With shops closed Online sales boomed and more delivery staff was needed...and so the list goes on. Our world has changed in the way we do things. In the way we expect things to happen. I get the feeling that our thinking hasn't changed at the same speed. We expect the order of things to remain the same or at least return to something recognizable.

So how does the above quote figure in this writing?

The pandemic is nobody's fault. It has happened like in all times of disaster and unknown situations, the feeling of despair and fear seems to bring out other personal reactions one might expect or even suspect. Think of how people may have reacted in centuries gone by. Look at the times of citizen unrest and the looting that happens! The discovery of AIDS, the black plague, cholera to name a few. 

Yet we humans survive the onslaught and pick up the pieces. Each in our own way. We make our own (un)happiness by the decisions we make, the thoughts we nurture, the fears we dread and the insights we may or may not have gained.

Marcus may not have been far wrong in his statement. It sure set me thinking. Thanks for taking the time to read my ramble.


Be good - Be kind - Keep smiling


Tuesday 16 August 2022

Friendships and farewells

 Friendship

Precious - necessary - enriching - sharing - laughing - making memories - silence is good too.



What defines friendship? I find it hard to pinpoint, to place in a context or label it.


Last Friday a dear friend passed away, died, left this world. His name is John. Such a widely used name. Yet he was unique in his own way. From the first time we met he made me smile. His wife and I became great friends, close, supportive and fun friends. 


His wasn't an easy road the past 18 years which also meant it wasn't an easy road for his wife and family either. John suffered and survived heart failure. A massive heart failure. His whole life turned upside down in his 'prime' one could say. From an active fun loving caring and vital man to someone needing care, support, a watchful eye. Assistance with many issues. Painfully sad.

It could have turned him into a bitter and resentful person - but it didn't. It could have had the same effect on those he loved. It didn't.

The road they walked was heavy yet not somber. The highs and lows endured with verve and determination. Positivity was their saving grace. The love and dedication their fuel.

We, my husband and I, feel privileged to have walked some of those roads together. To have had time to make memories, share moments and become closer than maybe had John not had this attack on his healthy self.

We shared many a meal, laughs, outings, celebrations and special moments. These are what will keep John and his memory alive- to have him still in our midst when we say his name. When we travel alone, when we share time with his widow. Our friendship will last and take on another shape. It'll be new and we will be faced with another adventure, new beginnings and memories.

Tomorrow, as I address those present at the farewell, I want to share the special moments we had and allow others to enjoy those memories. To inspire people to cherish in their hearts that which connects them to John and his life in our midst.

Gosh we are going to miss that man - though he will stay with us forever!




Check out this link: A wee break away with John and Alie