Done and dusted

 Where did all those weeks disappear to?

I had from the 1st of September, the day I boarded my flight to Auckland New Zealand, till the 1 December, when I would board my flight back to Schiphol, Netherlands. That's 3 whole months. And I look on my watch to see, it is 30th November. I know, I hear you! Every day has 24 hours. None dropped a few by the wayside. I used them all. And used them well I may add. Now they are, all but one,  used up. 

This truly was a fantastic reunion with my family. Some I saw more than others. That's understandable due to the changes in their lives these past 3+1/2 years I was absent. Not by choice but by the situation which affected every country across the globe these past few years.

Unexpected events, planned moments, a flight to Australia. It all happened and I can tick many boxes. So I'll share a few with you, because I am just abuzz with memories made such a short time ago.

My trip over and arrival went almost without a hitch. A fog at Dubai rearranged the stopover somewhat but never fear, we left a tad later and still managed to arrive on time in Auckland. Thankfully my luggage arrived with me so that was a stress less. I have had that experience before and it isn't a comfortable one.

I was met at the airport by my good and dear friend Annette. My partner in crime ( traveler and mischief maker). Annette had booked a motel for the evening so I could catch up on some sleep, be rested before arriving at my son and daughter in law's home. The 4 children were obviously excited - as was pregnant mum, as she was due any time with the baby. Which transpired only a few days after my arrival. On 6th September my grandson was born on his dad's 40th birthday. If that wasn't joy enough, my son and daughter in law from Australia turned up at the door, totally unknown to both my son and me. What a reunion.

In the weeks that followed lots happened which only made even more special that I had arrived when I had. Mum and baby both had health issues. First one, then the other. I was able to pitch in and keep the washing machine turning and the meals arriving on the table. Including obviously all the other chores that come with running a household with 4+1 and an unwell mum and including a concerned father/son.

A short escape to Waikanae to my only surviving uncle ( dad's brother) and his wife ( my cousin on mum's side). They are both 84 and live in a lovely small care community, independent and very much surrounded by lovely nature. I loved meeting up with them and on my last evening their son who came for a few days stay. Hadn't met up with him for too many years to remember. This was a real treat. 

Dear friends came up from Napier, stayed with their daughter and family while we managed to spend time together. Normally I would drive down and visit various friends there but the nature of my stay was so different this time, I didn't move far out of Hamilton to be fair. Except for....

A flight to Melbourne Australia saw me reunited with my son and family ( the one who popped over for the 40th birthday and baby birth). I stayed 17 days in all of which I spend 4 nights staying with my grandson and his partner. We had some great times and lovely outings.

With the festive season around the corner, I introduced the grandchildren to Sinterklaas. It was fun. Then the morning of the day I was to leave for Annette's we had 'presents day' which caused a lot of hilarity fun and noise. Just fantastic. 

So you see why I think time just flew....I haven't even scratched the surface of the daily happenings...and this already sounds like a hectic but valuable time. My photo supply has increased- I have some gorgeous kiddie shots and from the trip to Waikanae and here at Annette and Mike's. I've got enough to edit for a few videos. All in good time.

Now it are the last happenings, dinner, soak in the hot tub, pack the cabin bag tomorrow and leave for the airport. Then, 

Time and I will fly......

Be good.          Be kind.         Keep smiling

A quick glance back - then move forward.

 A flash back- nothing wrong with looking back, albeit it just a glance. I stumbled on a writing from way back. Thought I would share- just because I can! Nice glance - now moving forward! I'll reveal and explain my new challenge soon. 

Link to my first blog

In 2012 I started blogging. It was just prior to my 60th birthday. My idea was, to write a wee something each day in my 60th year. Logging 356 days to look back on.  The opportunity to look back on 'a year well done.' A milestone reached.

It was a too big a task. I managed 81 'stories' in that first year. It would be my highest contributions ever on this blog. I was keen to learn. What works for me may not work for others. Do I care whether 80 or 801 people read my blog? My highest reader count is 1469, I was honoured, my least read is 22. The topic wasn't interesting enough I gather. But for me, something I can look back on and recall those moments I found important enough to write about. I'm happy if someone has gained anything at all by reading about my thoughts. I write to empty my head, to discover more about myself and to have this as a record of 'who I was' at the time of writing. In all honesty I can say that I've learnt as I went along. My 'opinions' or beliefs have continued to develop, adjusted themselves due to new insights and some have been confirmed over the years.

I maintain- that one is never to old to learn. And not just new things but also new thinking.

I started sorting my subjects into categories. I am bilingual, my children wouldn't be able to read my dutch blog which I started on the 17th July 2012. Writing, or blogging to be exact, kept me sharp in both languages. Being bi-lingual does mean one has to use both languages to practice the grammer. It is important to me that I keep up my English to be able to communicate with ease with my children, grandchildren and other family and friends. My native tongue, Dutch, is part of who I am, so being more than just capable of expressing myself is also imperative. It keep the cogs spinning.

As I said, one is never too old to learn.

My status as 'oma' provided another soapbox. Since 2015 I also write bi-lingually, about my life as oma. It keeps me on my toes, separates the topics I write about and also explains the reason why my annual contributions to each blog is limited. If I was to add them up, I'd be quite surprised. I don't write for the numbers, but to jot down events, thoughts and opinions that roam in my head. Some manage to end up being processed on my keyboard.

Juggling writing session in my daily and weekly schedule is a challenge- one is never too old to learn.

So I felt ready for another challenge. I've always loved photography on a amateur level. My computer groans under the weight of shots- many which are 'delete-able' and it's a job I've started tackling because I need to make space for my next learning curve.

In February last year ( 2018) I posted my first video on YouTube. Oooooh, was a nerve racking thing that was too. But I persevered and have learnt heaps since that day. Another challenge, another growth spurt and at 65+ glad I am able to challenge my grey matter into a new way of thinking. Not only am I able to express myself in word- I can now leave behind something more adventurous for my children and grandchildren. I'm still discovering new things, scared to try some others, apprehensive about tackling big projects- and enjoying the comments, images and adventures I've now committed visually to 'film' and embarked on this new adventure.


It is 2019 - I recall the moment our calendar changed from 1999 to 2000. It seems like only months ago. Life is 'Like an Hour Glass' with the sands of time spilling away so quickly. I want to make sure I fill the time I have with discovering new challenges and precious experiences.

One is never too old to learn. My opa used to say, "when my time is up I'll be able to sleep for as long as I like, for now, I'll keep busy doing whatever I can".

Great outlook, it obviously made an impression on me, as I was only very young when he died. I too will 'soldier on' and hopefully be inspired to keep challenging myself and continue to believe- one is never too old to learn.

Changes can be eye openers!

World wide fuel prices are being affected. Gas, power, coal. The snowball effect is that food prices have risen. Cost of living rose along with it.  Wages haven't. Post pandemic the world seems to have fallen into a slump even though the dramatic death tolls have ceased, yes people still die, they always did and always will. Name any illness and some will not survive it. Wars keep raging, dissatisfaction reigns as does greed and animosity. Where is all this coming from? Or has it never been away since Adam and Eve and their curiosity for wanting more?

Today I wanted to write something cheery, then I saw the news about Poland being struck by a 'stray' missile? Was it Russia, was it the Ukraine? Was it a provoking action? Or a genuine 'wrong co-ordinates' from a stressed young soldier? Sigh....deep breath!

I am led to believe the fuel price situation is because of the war between Russia and the Ukraine. I am led to believe the shortage of staff in all sectors of society is due to the pandemic. 

And then there is the climate issue. Farmers appear to be the biggest target in many countries, including clean green New Zealand. 

Back to the pollution: Cows emit gas. Just look around you. Cars emit fumes, chimneys smoke. Factories pollute the air with their waste burn off. Not to mention lighting pollution at night- buildings are like Christmas trees with every light imaginable burning for no reason except that they can. Maybe I should care less?

I can't fix wars, I can't change the fuel and price crisis. In fact I can't fix any of the issues above - though I do have a responsibility as a human being to do whatever I can to promote and uphold human dignity, respect, love and compassion. I just wonder how to do this effectively. 

So I look for ways I can contribute to a better world. I avoid conflict by trying to be accepting, a peacemaker where possible and avoid conflicting situations. Offer a listening ear, a shoulder and smile and hug.

Pollution takes many forms. Yes I just flew half way across the world. To see my children and grandchildren. Until someone can "Beam me up Scotty" I'll continue to fly - so I need to take counter actions. How? By using my bike rather than car, by walking more, by cooking efficiently saving power. Recycling. Every little bit helps. We eat little meat, occasional fish and regularly vegetarian. A varied diet is healthier than a fad diet. Wearing thermal wear inside to save putting the heating up high. Walking a healthy circuit daily to keep my body in shape warding off illness needing medical care. There are so many ways one can make a difference, to one's circumstance both health wise and financially.

I read an article a few days ago in which people were interviewed how they are coping with increases in food and fuel prices. How they are managing to re-assess necessities against extras. The thing I noticed was people were choosing to go without or reducing their spending not on essentials but on extras.. Less monthly magazines ( most are online these days anyway - saves paper)! Going out for dinner less often. Opting for one car ownership instead of two. Reducing extra channels on tv. I got the feeling people with more financial means had been interviewed. Life is hard for those barely making ends meet. Where are their stories?

Maybe there is a family in your (my) street who could use a free meal every week. Cook something for that family- make contact, care, share! One way of making this world more habitable and caring is to reach out to our neighbor. Especially the ones we haven't met yet. 

Anyway, I just thought I'd get this off my chest, reset my caring clock and be more aware of how I can make a difference. Onward and upward to a more beautiful world.

Be good.       Be kind.         Keep smiling.

Being right can sometimes be wrong!

 

Ethics are the standard of what is right and wrong, and they are based on our values. Being ethical requires making a moral judgment, and that's not always easy. Ethical behavior takes courage and has to be practiced.

A heavy subject today- somehow I needed to get it 'Out of my head'

I don't know who wrote that. Found this highly philosophical statement while looking up the rights and wrongs, or some sort of analyses about this phenomena we humans seem to struggle with.

Who is right and who is wrong? Why do we always want to have a clear cut answer? Do we, as individuals, aways need assurance that whatever our stance in any controversy, is your or my right better than that of the other person?

Political parties have this down off pat. That's why I think we have such a missmash of ideals, failed proposals and half developed laws and new legislation, which when the other party takes over the reins after an election, overturns some of these newly set out plans because they are deemed: Wrong for 'our people/country'. And we will never know how right or wrong the decisions would have been.

Bring it a bit closer to home: A difference of opinion about the alterations planned for a home. A couple, knowing they are going to have to spend a large amount of money on their investment struggle to come to a compromise about the color scheme outside. Something that will impact both of them every time they arrive at the home. Being confronted all the time with something you just, not even like, but are strongly against. Instead of looking at an alternative, they struggle and argue, inflicting pain on each other in their relationship, just because they both can't let go of their 'I'm right that will look awful and spoil the look of our home". I say ditch both those colors and go for something new.

Or any other personal conflict for that matter. I've heard a friend say that her husband accuses her of always wanting to be right! Accuses, mind you! Hello. How about thinking there may be another way of looking at an issue? How about respect for someone's opinion, vision and look on life without it having to be right or wrong?

I have noticed, maybe it was always so, but since the pandemic hit our world, there is a lot of "I'm right- you are wrong" issues. And on a larger scale, the wars that rage are about being 'right' by both parties. Each an onslaught, attack, infringement of rights ( there's that word again) in the sense of personal safety and wellbeing.

I'm not right - and I am not wrong, I have shaped ideals, visions, opinions during my lifetime which undergo, and continue to do so, changes as time, experiences and new insights occur.  So maybe next year when I go back and read this, I may totally disagree with myself: Well, to stay in the vain of the writing- I may just say to myself, " that's one way of looking at it".

Be good.          Be kind.          Keep smiling.

I do have lighter moments: 

Check out my YouTube channel for lighthearted entertainment and travel experiences.

Time flies when having fun

 

 And that is sometimes easier said than done.

On the 1st of September 2022 I flew from Schiphol, Amsterdam to Auckland Airport Aotearoa/New Zealand via Dubai. I would have loved to have had the opportunity to browse through that airport but unfortunately due to heavy fog I was somewhat pushed for time to catch my transfer flight. Maybe on the way back in December. Who knows!

Since my arrival there has been so much happening I know I can honestly say I used every moment - to its potential. Like today.

Raglan, on the west coast out of Hamilton about 40+km. That sounds relatively close. The road however winds, twist, rises and falls over the countryside that 'plain sailing' is everything but. Stunning views too by the way. This was another of those moments in time I wished I had a dashboard camera or equivalent. I stopped on a few safe places along side the road to try and capture just a wee glimpse of the green New Zealand framing province, the Waikato. The most breathtaking views however kept showing themselves on sharp bends, deep inclines or at 'no parking here possible' moments. I have etched those visuals in my memory for keep sake. The ones I did capture will find their way to my YouTube channel eventually. I am still in the throws of completing the French Road trip episodes. New Zealand will have to wait.

Back to making the most of today. Annually there is an Art Weekend in Raglan. I say annually but that may happen more often for all I know. Initials R.A.W. So if you see that advertised if you are living in New Zealand- that's the Art weekend in Raglan. Combine that with a picnic or surf moment and you've got the perfect weekend.

On Facebook I follow a London born New Zealand lady called Toni Kingstone. Her art is, well for my taste anyway, fantastic. Here the link to her FB page: Toni Kingstone  in case you want to check her talent out. Having seen the announcement of the R. A. W. during New Zealand's Labour weekend ( Monday off) I planned to go and see the work for myself. A golden opportunity. The bonus was the drive there and back and the awesome blue sky. Oh and lunch, hot chips and a sausage roll, sitting in the grass overlooking the bay. The hard part was choosing which piece I wanted to purchase. Would it fit in my suitcase and why oh why did I like more than one piece?

My time in the temporary gallery which was set up in a motel, was very pleasant. When I introduced myself to Toni ( yes I also have a daughter named Toni) she expressed a delight to meet me. Our only contact having been online on her FB page. The space was set up very inviting to look around. The availability of a toilet was a pleasant extra, as was the tray with glasses and water jug. I felt extremely privileged as Toni, her husband and son who were all part of the sales team, made me very welcome indeed. What more could a woman on the road want?

While chatting with Toni I noticed people wandering in and out. I also noticed some empty spaces and some items with red stickers. Toni's work was definitely a draw card, as were the metal artifacts on display made by her husband. What a creative couple. I wondered around looking closely at all that was on offer. I filmed a bit. Thought that might be useful at a later stage. Two, wel more actually, but one has to narrow things down from a practical aspect, two pieces really caught my eye. I liked them both. 

😂  DA I L   -    E M MA!  😂

I didn't know what to do. Both wasn't an option. Practically, I have to take this with me when I fly back to Schiphol Airport. Is my suitcase up to the challenge? Or more urgently: Are the baggage handlers up to it? Or will I take it as hand luggage?

Emma wasn't available so I guess the choice would have to be mine. I did consult two V I P's in my life but that didn't help at all. The advice I did take was to go for a walk, have some lunch and come back - then head for the one that attracts most. 

S I G H

Yes, I made my choice. I am thrilled in fact. No I am not going to post a picture..then it won't be a surprise when I get to install it in my Woman Cave. Check the room out in this video.

Woman Cave.

Not only was this a lovely meeting I also gained a couple more fans for my YouTube channel. Isn't it wonderful when people enjoy that which one does with so much pleasure? So, my day was a really happy one. Hopefully yours was too. Onward and upward to tomorrow.

Be good.       Be kind.       Keep smiling.

What an interesting conversation

 

Yesterday I had a most interesting conversation with a friend I hadn't been able to visit for 3-1/2 years due to the travel restrictions in place caused by the health issues the world grappled with over recent years.

I felt this gif image was most appropriate considering the contents of the conversation. It left me wondering and neither one of us came to any real conclusion.

I have two home countries. I have lived half my life in New Zealand and half in the country of birth, the Netherlands. Due to the length of time in both countries I have made life long friends on both continents. I treasure their presence in my life and appreciate each one in their own right. Some of these friends are like me, have two home countries. And the conversation yesterday was with a Dutch friend who now lives in New Zealand permanently and has recently also had a reunion with family 'back home'. Our conversation, after pleasantries re-acquainting ourselves after a long period, turned to the differences we noticed in each country in our absence.

My friend who had spent 10 weeks in the Netherlands had not been back for 8+years. I on the other had had been to New Zealand 3-1/2 years ago so the time difference was less for me than for her.

We decided on the 'What if" scenario. What if she was to return to the Netherlands in her retirement.

What if: I was to return to New Zealand for my retirement. 

We balanced the pros and cons, the care for the elderly, housing, political themes and general well being and public consensus. It would be nice to be able to say - we are both very satisfied with our situation. The issue of where and why is ever present. The thing is, it's the family ties and heritage that keeps bringing unsettled 'weather' into our well being you might say.

I am now staying with my family, my son and his partner and children. I also have a daughter in the same city and son in Australia with his family.

My friend has all her siblings 'back home'. Her life long friends and co-workers, cousins, aunts etc etc.

Now we aren't dissatisfied with our lives. We are healthy, content and are in a position to visit at reasonable time frames between visits. For now. Both retired, both used to the long haul it takes to get to 'the other side' of the globe. The check list of 'where better' is incomplete. It will more than likely always stay that way. I really enjoyed ( yes I did) the delving into the whys, whats and wherefores. Counting our blessings as we went.

So I'll finish with this quote which I found quite interesting. Thanks for reading and spending time with me on my blog.

   

 Virginia Satir (26 June 1916 – 10 September 1988) was an American author and psychotherapist, recognized for her approach to family therapy.

If you want to know what I get up to living in the Netherlands- join me on YouTube. 

My channel is called OmaFarAway.

Be good.        Be Kind.          Keep smiling

Another time- another place

 Time doesn't stand still - we do!

If you've been following my blogs you'll know I am in New Zealand at present visiting my family. Like 1000s of others the pandemic situation in the world is slowly allowing more freedom ( but with caution) and families are re-uniting world wide as I type.

I left New Zealand mid 2000 and have visited here on average every 15 months. Sometimes the gap was less, sometimes a wee bit more but never as long as this last period.

Because I came back at regular intervals it was easy to pick up where I left off, some people actually not realizing I'd been, gone and back again.

It was also handy as I would see with my own eyes the changes around towns and places I'd visit. Road works, housing appearing, shops changing hands. Not only that. I would also be more in tune where my grandchildren were at in their development. Having been away almost 3+1/2 years ( May 2019) has certainly affected my feeling of connection, of  being 'in the loop' with the changes. I have stood still while time just kept on ticking.

Now I am not that naive to think everything would still be how I left it. That the children have grown, some into young adults, is a normal and natural progression. Still what did change was the connection I had with them. The very young ones didn't have a treasure chest filled with lots of memories, as some were too young to recall some of our escapades and fun moments. Others have moved on - to almost university level schooling so are  busy with study, friends and sports. And that is a good thing - it just does have bearing on the relationships. Some have more time now to spend with me, their oma, and others don't. So a shift in focus and activities is order of the day. Re-acquainting ourselves with each personality, personal like and activity and finding out what is important in their lives which wasn't relevant before. All the while trying to be the oma befitting each child. A challenge and a wonderful one at that. All things being equal I won't have another LONG break from my family in the future. Eventually I know the visits will cease. I am not the youngest anymore and eventually the length of the trip will be too much of a challenge so I will make the most of every opportunity I get ( make happen) to be part of the families' lives as often as possible.

The country too has changed. Not just the addition or should I say improvement on the roads. New motorways connecting cities. Huge shopping complexes to cope with the increase in size of the cities and modernization in many parts of the inner city to keep up with the ever changing world. Globally of course awareness for our planet plays a role here too. The pace of life in New Zealand is faster now than when I left. It almost matches that of the place I now call home in the Netherlands. No it's not Amsterdam, but the volume traffic, high rise buildings and housing projects, it would seem New Zealand is swelling in population faster than I imagined it would. What did astound me, was this beautiful green and vast country isn't making use of the area but cramming as many home units on a small piece of land. Family home sized sections seem to be a thing of the past. Cramming 4 homes where there was once one home seems illogical to me. Why is 'spreading out' not the norm? Why push people onto each other's boundaries when we know and have known for many years, that space, individuality and privacy are a necessary component of well being. That's what attracted my father and many immigrants in the first place. New Zealand's open spaces. There is plenty of land.... it is just not being used to live on.

Anyway, that were some of the noticeable things that changed in the interim while I wasn't able to visit.

NOW is here and HERE to enjoy. And hopefully I'll be staying more often again in the future.

Be good.    -     Be kind      -     Keep smiling

Loving every moment

 

Life is good to me - and mine. 

Arriving almost on the eve of the birth of my newest grandchild was such a gift. No-one could have predicted this outcome. When planning my trip I did heed a few highlights, the possible birth ( either just before on or after my arrival) this could go any which way. My son's 40th birthday and other birthdays in this period.

I wasn't prepared for everything to happen at once so it sure did send some emotional rollercoasters in action.

My dear friend Annette picked me up from Auckland Airport and drove us to a motel so I could have a shower and a good night's sleep after that mega flight from Amsterdam to Auckland. After a leisurely start and a minimal breakfast we traveled the highway to Hamilton, arriving at my son's home just as they returned from a swimming moment in the city pools. It was Father's Day Sunday. My daughter in law looking radiant and still very pregnant. 

The next few days I kept a low profile re-adjusting my body clock. Well, that was the plan. Monday evening around 8 pm saw those plans fade away as baby decided maybe it was time to make its entrance. The wee darling didn't drag out the process too long at all and just after midnight on the Tuesday around 1 am my grandson was born - on his dad's 40th birthday. Double joy.

The night was a disrupted but happy one and the early morning hours brought even more joy! Unknown to me, my son in Australia and his wife had flown in to Auckland that Monday late afternoon. So just imagine my surprise and disbelief when I saw him drive up the driveway while FaceTiming with my new grandson for the first time? I was an emotional wreck. A joyful one at that!

Things have settled down since then. Life is great. I am that wee pic up above and loving every minute of it. How blessed am I that I am able to be the support this busy household needs right now. A young family of 7 ( 8 with me included) Happily their dining table is large enough for all.

The first 3 weeks of my time here have just melted away into oblivion, leaving wonderful memories. With spring slowly taking hold and baby settling, mother gaining strength the next few weeks will just add to the wonderful experiences that lay ahead.

Thankful, that's what I am: THANKFUL

Be good      -          Be kind        -     Keep smiling 

Life - and it's gifts

Life is a gift - unwrap it - use your undiscovered talents 

You only get one stab at life

Be generous

Be loving

Be considerate

Be all you can be

Two weeks ago I was privileged to hold a newborn grandson in my arms. A few hours old. What a joy. What a blessing. He will be sharing the love of his parents with 4 siblings, two girls ( the eldest of the 5) and 2 boys. No doubt the parents will be faced with  challenges they hadn't envisaged - on the other side of that same coin they will experience great joys too.

For the second time in my 'oma period' I have been present when one of the grandchildren arrived. As an OmaFarAway, it isn't always possible to be on the spot when such life changing events take place. I do get the feeling though that this wonder of life is the Full-stop in the family cycle. All three families now being complete. 

I am truly blessed and realise quite realistically that this is a unique position to be in. My children and grandchildren are healthy, happy, thriving individuals ( from 22y to 2 weeks) making their way in their world at their own pace and with their own uniqueness, encouraged and nurtured by their parents.

This is really all I wanted to say really. No great philosophical or debatable discussion. Just stating my joyous event- the birth of another grandchild. 

Be good.     -     Be kind.      -      Keep smiling

It's all about WHAT IFs!

"Nothing to fear but fear itself".
Franklin D Rooseveld in his inaugural speech in 1933

Even I say that to friends when they entrust me with a fear, an insecurity or when faced with an unpleasant event. Why worry about something that is a figment of one's imagination, a reality only existing in one's mind?

The self imagined outcome of something over which one has no control. I recall that in my study period. Handing in an assignment. Already visualizing the perceived reaction from the lecturer or teacher. What if?

The recent years during COVID we have had many instances I am sure where WHAT IF scenarios played  a huge role in our state of mind.

WHAT IF: I get COVID and become ill?

WHAT IF: I am that ill I need to go to hospital?

WHAT IF: My mum, dad, brother sister, husband wife.....?

WHAT IF: I loose my job?

and I could go on and on, can't sell/buy a house, I don't get that job, mortgage, car!

My WHAT IF was: What if I can't get to see my children and grandchildren? What if travel becomes so expensive I can't afford the fare? What if the restrictions aren't removed? What if they become ill? I become ill? What if I don't get my papers uploaded onto the form? What if my QR code won't scan? What if I missed my flight, my connection, loose my luggage?

These What If's were a battle. I did manage to conquer many but must also admit to have to battle a few with more energy than I thought was needed. I think of myself as a positive-realist and normally can handle and deal with a WHAT IF moment quite rapidly. I think this time, because it touched and affected the most important people in my life, I didn't have the grip on each situation as I would have liked.

I can now say: All my fears were valid but not worth the energy I put into them. My WHAT IFs were ticked off one by one as I dealt with each issue.

I booked my flight - shocked at the price but could pay for it 👍

I got the paperwork sorted successfully without any of the feared hitches.

My flight was long, tiring and at times stressy- but I arrived on time.

My initial test after arrival was negative ( which was one thing I wasn't worried about) I just haven't ever had to undergo a test. So that's a first.

I haven't been ill. Nor has any of those I listed above.

I had a harrowing moment fearing I may miss my connecting flight- BUT didn't.

My suitcase and I left the airport together.

So now, a stress free visit to my family and friends is off to a good start. I aim to keep it that way.

Be good.     Be kind.     Keep smiling

Arms to hug and hold me.

 May 2019 - my last hug and glimpse of my dearest darling children en grandchildren.

2020: My trip on hold: Who would have thought the world would change so dramatically in such a short space in time.

2022: Finally:  Arms to hold me, hugs to give

I've lived back  in the country of my birth from 1 July 2000. In that time I have flown back to my second home,  to Aotearoa/ New Zealand and Australia on average every 15 months, till 2019 that is.  My planned trip for the end of 2020 was put on hold. Not only because of Corona but also due to the restricted access one had to a much desired entry ticket to get into Aotearoa/New Zealand. The government had closed its doors to keep its people safe and operated a sort of lucky dip for those needing/wanting to go home. I didn't participate. Left the space I might take up for those with even more pressing needs. This doesn't make me a saint, just felt uncomfortable in case I got 'lucky' and someone needing to be with their dying parent, wedding or birth event lost out. And I've not even mentioned to huge costs of the quarantine hotels.

The virus hasn't gone but the immediate danger, the heaviness of the pandemic has subsided. Yes, one can still become very ill. Some may even not survive but most will. Thankful for the vaccination available is all I can say. After purchasing my ticket, which due to the fuel costs and other related reasons why had risen dramatically,  and applying for my Traveler's Declaration now required before entry I am now able to fly to hug and hold once again. I have NEVER been away from my children for this length of time. It was hard. Emotionally I coped, only just, having the support of many around me who helpen me through dark periods. I am so grateful for these support groups. Reading about more pressing and devastatingly sad cases I felt guilty at times about my own misery. Grateful too was I that there were no serious issues why I might have felt the pressing desire and need to be with my children. Great disasters were spared us. Many were not that fortunate.

So, looking forward and with renewed joy in my heart I am preparing to venture across the miles, different rules, new airport as I am taking an airline new to me. I believe masks will be required all the way: all 24-26 hours roughly which it will take to reach my destination. That'll be a challenge. At the end of that: 

arms which will embrace me. And that's the moment I yearn for. 

Be good - be kind - keep smiling.

What are you thinking?

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus: 26 April 121 – 17 March 180 was Roman emperor 

from 161 to 180 and a Stoic philosopher.

This made me ponder on the topic. Am I master ( mistress) of my own destination or are things pre-ordained? Or is it a bit of both?

One of the more frequent statements I hear around me is, " Have you noticed how short fused people are these days?" It is August 2022. We are trying to haul the world out of a pandemic. Some say we already have left that behind us, while others maintain a strict lifestyle being guarded and insecure in their actions limiting movement and one could say, the joys of life. Of course there are also those who have denied the whole pandemic as a myth, and those who have adapted and learnt to be aware, to chance to a new normal, a safe, healthy lifestyle. Getting on with life as best they see fit. Doing what feels comfortable and safe. 

Perception of the situation at hand and acting according to one's nature and self-reliance?

I am occasionally inclined to think that the pandemic isn't only about a virus, becoming ill and the most dreadful of consequence could be death, but that it doesn't 'just' affect our physical state of being but also infects our psychological state. The recovery results are varied. Well, that's the thought in my mind at present. This is as a result of what I experience of the changes in society in general.

I notice little of the relief that the reduction in the wave of destruction COVID brought has ebbed. I do notice short fused, irritated and impatient people quick to complain about trivial ( or more impacting) situations. The pandemic has not only made many physically ill, the brain too has been affected. Is that a panic reaction?  I hear sounds in the conversations that people feel they are 'owed' freedom now the dangers have ( relatively) passed. That the governments concerned 'robbed' them of freedom while not acknowledging that even for them this was un-chartered waters and needed to take a stand to keep the populations safe if that was at all possible. 

                           Perception of the situation at hand and acting according to one's insecurity?

Short staffed in many areas ( not just here in the Netherlands but world wide) has seen some disturbing fracas taking place. Heated discussions and even violence well above proportion for the 'complaint' one might say. Greed is another trait I've seen on the rise. This too in the recent crime figures, the new ways to undo one of personal belongings including money. Elderly often but not solely, being targets of villainous actions. Going door to door to 'check' the corona vaccination pasport and thereby gaining access to homes. Or pretending to be from the health department checking if the ventilation in the home is working properly, to name a few tricks I read in the paper about. Sad and deplorable. working from home and people being limited in moving about freely changed the face of the criminal's actions. Even they have adapted their modus operandi. Once the working at home rule was relaxed, home invasion thefts was once again on the rise. 

                             Perception of the situation at hand and acting according to one's lack of morals?

Standing in the queue waiting to be served, at the airport, train and someone finally 'snapping' and lashing out at personal who are working their butts off coping with less colleagues to get the job done. Businesses understaffed causing problems in all kinds of sectors. Where have all these people gone? Some who had severe COVID are sick at home still, suffering long term damage, some have changed jobs. With cafes and restaurants having been closed for long periods staff have moved on and many not returning. With shops closed Online sales boomed and more delivery staff was needed...and so the list goes on. Our world has changed in the way we do things. In the way we expect things to happen. I get the feeling that our thinking hasn't changed at the same speed. We expect the order of things to remain the same or at least return to something recognizable.

So how does the above quote figure in this writing?

The pandemic is nobody's fault. It has happened like in all times of disaster and unknown situations, the feeling of despair and fear seems to bring out other personal reactions one might expect or even suspect. Think of how people may have reacted in centuries gone by. Look at the times of citizen unrest and the looting that happens! The discovery of AIDS, the black plague, cholera to name a few. 

Yet we humans survive the onslaught and pick up the pieces. Each in our own way. We make our own (un)happiness by the decisions we make, the thoughts we nurture, the fears we dread and the insights we may or may not have gained.

Marcus may not have been far wrong in his statement. It sure set me thinking. Thanks for taking the time to read my ramble.

Be good - Be kind - Keep smiling

Friendships and farewells

 Friendship

Precious - necessary - enriching - sharing - laughing - making memories - silence is good too.

What defines friendship? I find it hard to pinpoint, to place in a context or label it.

Last Friday a dear friend passed away, died, left this world. His name is John. Such a widely used name. Yet he was unique in his own way. From the first time we met he made me smile. His wife and I became great friends, close, supportive and fun friends. 

His wasn't an easy road the past 18 years which also meant it wasn't an easy road for his wife and family either. John suffered and survived heart failure. A massive heart failure. His whole life turned upside down in his 'prime' one could say. From an active fun loving caring and vital man to someone needing care, support, a watchful eye. Assistance with many issues. Painfully sad.

It could have turned him into a bitter and resentful person - but it didn't. It could have had the same effect on those he loved. It didn't.

The road they walked was heavy yet not somber. The highs and lows endured with verve and determination. Positivity was their saving grace. The love and dedication their fuel.

We, my husband and I, feel privileged to have walked some of those roads together. To have had time to make memories, share moments and become closer than maybe had John not had this attack on his healthy self.

We shared many a meal, laughs, outings, celebrations and special moments. These are what will keep John and his memory alive- to have him still in our midst when we say his name. When we travel alone, when we share time with his widow. Our friendship will last and take on another shape. It'll be new and we will be faced with another adventure, new beginnings and memories.

Tomorrow, as I address those present at the farewell, I want to share the special moments we had and allow others to enjoy those memories. To inspire people to cherish in their hearts that which connects them to John and his life in our midst.

Gosh we are going to miss that man - though he will stay with us forever!

Check out this link: A wee break away with John and Alie

Once was an opinion welcome

It's all about which way you look!

It's all about which way you look! I was attracted to a clipart/gif picture quite some years ago now and used it many a time in my other blog A day in the life of . I've stopped using that blog but the items will stay online. Lots of good reading there I may add. Anyway, in that blog I wrote about events which happened or about subjects which got my attention one way or another. I'm not fussed about whether people agree with my ramblings. Writing often helps put things into perspective. When I read back a few weeks later I sometimes see a shift in my thoughts and findings. That means I've grown, learnt more or visions have changed. If I still feel the same, then I acknowledge that. I am neither right or wrong. I'm me! So today I decided I'd take the plunge and write about something(s) which have 'hung around'  for a while and just won't let me go.

Before I start my ramble: the word OPINION is MY opinion, MY vision, MY perception My thoughts.  Not right- not wrong, or left or right. Just another way of looking at something.

Thought number 1!

Mary buys groceries which include snack items, fizzie drinks and not to forget the weekly 3 bottles of wine. She also needs to purchase vegetables, dairy products, meat and household items. Her purse is smaller than her wants ( NOTE: wants)

Me: Mary needs help to learn how to budget so she can on the special occasions purchase 'extras' and enjoy them exactly as that: EXTRAS. I was trying to reflect when chips/crisps, fizzie drink and wine became daily items instead of birthday and feast day fare. Nothing special about a bag of chips/crips now is there?

Now I've been blasted for this. That I don't understand her situation, that she should be able to make her own decisions etc etc etc. That I begrudge her her extras after all, she's in a bit of a bad way, hard times etc. 

Well, that's true, things have not gone well the past couple of years.  In the meantime Mary has applied for a special benefit and the food bank. This is where I then re-iterate: Mary needs a lesson/support in budgeting. The food bank is for those who can't even buy the basics, let alone the extras. This isn't helping Mary improve her situation. It isn't teaching her to fish, this is putting the ambulance under the cliff. I am not right nor wrong. I voiced an opinion. My thinking, my way of seeing how a problem could be solved. Not should be solved. It may just give Mary some prospect of a far better future and a feeling of self worth and respect. People react so aggressively that I now avoid becoming involved in discussions. I internally have a private chat and hope someone somewhere also sees a way to help Mary improve her situation before things get even harder for her.

Now the "Holy Grail" thought number 2 - Newcomers political or otherwise.

As per 2015 we have 200 nationalities in this country ( Netherlands). People obviously are attracted to the country for various reasons. As of the 31 January 2022 the total population was 17.597.607. The prospect is that in 2028 we will have a population of 18 million. Now if that was in Australia, Canada, America to name a few XXL sized countries outside of Europe I'd say- amazing. Wow. Great. Have you googled how small this country is? I wonder if the people who come here do that before they choose 'us'. We've just been to France - spacious, green - beautiful. Plenty of space to build another city as big as Paris and creating at the same time possibilities for housing, employment, education, health and welfare.

In 2020 we had 517 people per km2. Land mass 41.543 km². Germany's landmass is 357.588 km2 and has 232 population per km2. A heated discussion is happening here about the number of refugees who are having to sleep outdoors ( it is summer and sweltering hot) in the over full refugee camps. One thing needs to be said: Their plight is not to be sneezed at or minimalized. What they have gained is a safety net and distance between them and the danger they left behind. Cities, townships and smaller communities are being affected with housing problems ( we don't have enough even for the population already living here) and the world is on fire regarding climate change etc. Where are we to house these people? Yes, they are welcome, NO I am not a racist or anti whatever? I am genuinely concerned - FOR everyone and their safe, happy and healthy future.

Now don't twist this to say I want to 'get rid' of any particular group - it's the people volume that is the issue. It's the pressure of 'us' all living so squashed that we as a population are losing the space to breath. Which in turn doesn't bring out the best in many people. Like all living beings, space is an essential part of our psyche. A place to retreat to, to re-charge batteries, to have a moment of silence, privacy. The strain on all services are showing  signs of collapse. Cracks appearing in social formation and structure. If anything, COVID19 has proven once again that living like ants on an ant hill isn't the most healthy system at all.

The world has changed. The distance traveled in past centuries was restricted due to the inability (yet) to fly or drive. Boats brought more speed and distance. The explorer, the inquisitor wanted more. To see what was around the corner or over the horizon. New worlds were being discovered. Populated. Taken over. Confiscated even. The world has shrunk. We can replace ourselves into any country we chose. 

Now this overcrowding isn't only something here in the Netherlands. Somehow we humans have converged together seeking companionship and the communities grew. There was safety in numbers and hunting together was practical. Now we hunt for space to be alone. To have some autonomy. How can this problem be addressed in a way that personal wellbeing and protection of ethnic customs and practices are maintained. That languages and customs are honored and kept alive. How do we do that? How do we discuss these issues and really listen to each other without jumping all over each other with accusing finger pointing and yelling louder and louder? If we don't break this discussion open and be generous with our compassion, empathy and realism we won't solve anything for anyone. 

Just one more thought: Have you ever flown? Do you recall the flight attendant  say to the parents or those traveling with someone in their care, " Please put your life jacket/mask on FIRST"? I understand the residents who have been on waiting lists for years for a home be upset when newcomers are given priority. Not a good thing for the relationship between the groups involved. Just saying.....!

I am more concerned about our people problem than I am about whether the ice cap is melting. Because right now - why save a world we aren't even capable of sharing?

Be good       Be kind       Keep smiling

How meaningful is language?

 

"It's only words and words are all I have" ..to say what I have to say!

Recently on tv I heard an interviewer questioning public of all ages about abbreviations and the modern text language. His question was: "Do you always know or understand what someone is trying to say to you or message they have for you?"  In this ever speedy world we live in, when news travels faster the the speed of light, do we make ourselves clear when communicating? Is a quick message on the phone with BRB ( Be Right Back) and a 👍 polite? One gentleman, say age wise around the mid 60s said, " oh the young people don't use words, they use those pictograms. You know, those funny face things like a smiley. I've got them on my phone too but don't really know why or when I should use them." Another comment was, " "Why should students learn to write? They can't spell anymore they just use abbreviations. I never now what my children are on about these days! 

Well, the abbreviations and bad spelling is something that's very evident when I see posts online. Now I am not a language buff, expert or champion. I make grammatically technical mistakes and know it. I do like language(s) though. I also think we need clear, concise and comprehensible language skills to stay in communication with each other. To continue the dialogue about who we are, what we mean and what our intensions, hope and dreams are.

There is so much to learn about language, spoken, written, or symbolized in pictograms or sign language. My language, your language. I've Googled some information: 

History

The language dates back to roughly 150,000 years ago. However, all the linguistic evidence dates back to around 6000 years ago, when writing began. Consequently, the major history of language is discovered through guesses and written evidence that is much newer than the era that the linguists study.

Why is language important to identity? Language is intrinsic to the expression of culture. As a means of communicating values, beliefs and customs, it has an important social function and fosters feelings of group identity and solidarity. It is the means by which culture and its traditions and shared values may be conveyed and preserved.

I live in a Dutch speaking country, well it was originally. Now I do not have a problem with multi cultural multi lingual communities, countries and the spread of peoples around the world. I was once an immigrant too. What does get to me though is that individual countries it seems, are losing a grip on their own language, their customs and identity as certainly in our country, we are replacing our language with English. Yet we aren't an English culture country. There are things we can't express in the same manner. My example of this was many years ago when I lived in New Zealand and needed to take my young son to the doctor. I tried to explain an emotion/feeling/symptom and was EVER SO GLAD I had a Dutch doctor as GP. Now there was nothing wrong with my English language skills. I had spent more years there than in my country of birth- yet for a certain emotion or feeling I just couldn't find the words to do that justice. Of course I found a substitute, but it wasn't one that came from the inner ME.

So taking that back to the interviewer, how do we with our 'new age' language skills help express  ourselves according to upbringing, culture and ability to make ourselves understood? Are those EMOJIS enough? Are abbreviations multi lingual? 

Sometimes I get caught up in these thoughts and wonder how the world is going to look in say 100 years from now. We live in an era where we can source information about our past at the touch of a keyboard. What sort of information will there be to read about in 100 years time about our language development? Will we have gone back to symbols like the Greeks, cave people and Romans, to name a few, used?

One of the reasons for this soul searching subject was our time in France recently. A 5 week road trip. Our French was deplorable having not been to France for a number of years, where as we used to go annually. We coped with Google Translate, hands, feet, gestures and the English language. I'm ashamed we were left wanting. It also hampered connecting with some lovely people we never got to know due to our lack of language skills. 

So that's my burble for today. Have a great day/week and 

Be safe    Be kind    Keep smiling

This is the link to my YouTube channel

Timing is everything- sometimes!

 

I'm not normally that focussed on the time issue ( except when it comes to appointments that is) It is just that lately we have been so busy doing so many things that I wonder how we manage it all. I seem to be getting lots more done and yet my pile of things to do isn't reducing at all. The more I do the more there is to do. Does that make sense at all? Probably not! Just a ramble that is running through my mind at the moment.

Good morning/afternoon/evening, where ever you are at, at the time of reading this ramble. I'm working my way through a few chores at the moment and they are taking longer than I anticipated. How do you cope with issues like this? I am also easily distracted for some obscure reason. Maybe I need a holiday 😂! Just kidding or am I? 

Talking about holidays, I have managed to post 7 videos so far of our Re-tour de France road trip on my YouTube channel. Such fun and good memories. Number 8 is in the pipeline- almost done. Why did we give it that title? Well because we started in the Netherlands, 'at the top' so to speak, and made a round trip returning to the same spot on the highway where we left. So we thought this quite an appropriate and fun title.

Five weeks on the road. Ten different places to lay one's head at night. All of them on my own pillow I might add. I take it everywhere. Can't sleep properly on someone else's pillow. Which brings to mind a trip to Australia I had many years ago. Yes even Down Under has seen me place my head on my own pillow. Till it became harder to get it into my overfull suitcase. 

My then wee grandson of 4 decided he wanted to keep me close each night so he confiscated my pillow and kept it for many a year on his bed. So lovely and heart warming.

Which brings me to the next subject: Where will my pillow take me to next? My last trip to visit my children was in 2019 with the intention of being back there at the end of 2020. We all know why that didn't happen. Less said the better. So it has been a struggle coping with the loss of physical contact over a much longer period of time that I ever have had away from my children. I am fully aware that there were harder, sadder and more gut wrenching struggles for many. It isn't that I want sympathy or am presenting myself as a victim. Just stating a fact. Yes, there is internet- yes there is light at the end of this long and dark tunnel. So I am now actively planning a trip to my other homeland, the one where I bore my children, where my parents are laid to rest and where a huge part of my life tells its story. 

This week will see me having a conversation with a travel agent, I am not prepared to book my own trip like I have done in the past. Too risky. It will see me blow off the dust of my pasport and relocate my NZ driver's license. It will see my bank balance shrink horrifically. It will also add another list of chores. But most of all, it will cause those pre-trip butterflies to return, those emotions of reconnecting with my own upsurge and take hold. It will most likely also cause disruption to my sleep despite my head being on my own pillow, due to the anticipation of what lies ahead. 

I guess that might just be why, I am easily distracted, can't get through all the lists like I am used to and already causing the fluttering in my being even though the ticket hasn't even been booked yet. So I am trying to keep occupied, to keep my mind on things to distract me. The editing I need to still do will be part of my therapy to keep my wits about me. The two children's books I want to complete before I leave need attention too. Plenty to do - now I must get on with them. No more rambling. Till next time.

In the meantime, enjoy the videos. It was a fantastic trip and we saw such beauty all around us. I am pleased to be able to share that with you. 

Be good    Be kind    Keep smiling

This is the link to my YT channel