What an interesting conversation

 

Yesterday I had a most interesting conversation with a friend I hadn't been able to visit for 3-1/2 years due to the travel restrictions in place caused by the health issues the world grappled with over recent years.

I felt this gif image was most appropriate considering the contents of the conversation. It left me wondering and neither one of us came to any real conclusion.

I have two home countries. I have lived half my life in New Zealand and half in the country of birth, the Netherlands. Due to the length of time in both countries I have made life long friends on both continents. I treasure their presence in my life and appreciate each one in their own right. Some of these friends are like me, have two home countries. And the conversation yesterday was with a Dutch friend who now lives in New Zealand permanently and has recently also had a reunion with family 'back home'. Our conversation, after pleasantries re-acquainting ourselves after a long period, turned to the differences we noticed in each country in our absence.

My friend who had spent 10 weeks in the Netherlands had not been back for 8+years. I on the other had had been to New Zealand 3-1/2 years ago so the time difference was less for me than for her.

We decided on the 'What if" scenario. What if she was to return to the Netherlands in her retirement.

What if: I was to return to New Zealand for my retirement. 

We balanced the pros and cons, the care for the elderly, housing, political themes and general well being and public consensus. It would be nice to be able to say - we are both very satisfied with our situation. The issue of where and why is ever present. The thing is, it's the family ties and heritage that keeps bringing unsettled 'weather' into our well being you might say.

I am now staying with my family, my son and his partner and children. I also have a daughter in the same city and son in Australia with his family.

My friend has all her siblings 'back home'. Her life long friends and co-workers, cousins, aunts etc etc.

Now we aren't dissatisfied with our lives. We are healthy, content and are in a position to visit at reasonable time frames between visits. For now. Both retired, both used to the long haul it takes to get to 'the other side' of the globe. The check list of 'where better' is incomplete. It will more than likely always stay that way. I really enjoyed ( yes I did) the delving into the whys, whats and wherefores. Counting our blessings as we went.

So I'll finish with this quote which I found quite interesting. Thanks for reading and spending time with me on my blog.

   

 Virginia Satir (26 June 1916 – 10 September 1988) was an American author and psychotherapist, recognized for her approach to family therapy.

If you want to know what I get up to living in the Netherlands- join me on YouTube. 

My channel is called OmaFarAway.

Be good.        Be Kind.          Keep smiling

Friendships and farewells

 Friendship

Precious - necessary - enriching - sharing - laughing - making memories - silence is good too.

What defines friendship? I find it hard to pinpoint, to place in a context or label it.

Last Friday a dear friend passed away, died, left this world. His name is John. Such a widely used name. Yet he was unique in his own way. From the first time we met he made me smile. His wife and I became great friends, close, supportive and fun friends. 

His wasn't an easy road the past 18 years which also meant it wasn't an easy road for his wife and family either. John suffered and survived heart failure. A massive heart failure. His whole life turned upside down in his 'prime' one could say. From an active fun loving caring and vital man to someone needing care, support, a watchful eye. Assistance with many issues. Painfully sad.

It could have turned him into a bitter and resentful person - but it didn't. It could have had the same effect on those he loved. It didn't.

The road they walked was heavy yet not somber. The highs and lows endured with verve and determination. Positivity was their saving grace. The love and dedication their fuel.

We, my husband and I, feel privileged to have walked some of those roads together. To have had time to make memories, share moments and become closer than maybe had John not had this attack on his healthy self.

We shared many a meal, laughs, outings, celebrations and special moments. These are what will keep John and his memory alive- to have him still in our midst when we say his name. When we travel alone, when we share time with his widow. Our friendship will last and take on another shape. It'll be new and we will be faced with another adventure, new beginnings and memories.

Tomorrow, as I address those present at the farewell, I want to share the special moments we had and allow others to enjoy those memories. To inspire people to cherish in their hearts that which connects them to John and his life in our midst.

Gosh we are going to miss that man - though he will stay with us forever!

Check out this link: A wee break away with John and Alie

Logeren bij oma - staying at oma's!

 Scroll down for the English translation/version.

Wie weet! Wie weet of deze grote droom werkelijkheid wordt. Wel weet ik dat mijn kleinzoon en ik allebei dezelfde droom hebben. Dat hij een poos bij oma kan logeren.

Op zich een natuurlijk iets. Oma's ( nou ja die ik ken in ieder geval) oma's houden ervan als kleinkinderen komen logeren. En als ik de verhalen geloven moet ( en dat doe ik ook hoor) dan houden kleinkinderen er ook van om bij oma te logeren. Maar in ons geval- toch wat lastiger als je aan de andere kant van de aardbol woont.

Mijn oudste kleinzoon zit in zijn laatste jaar high school. Het is even bikkelen want het leren - dat kan hij wel - maar valt hem eventjes tegen. Nog een jaartje doorzetten lieverd. Dan, als alles goed geregeld kan worden, mag je een poosje bij oma logeren.

Eerst kom ik nog op bezoek. Dan kunnen wij alles bespreken. Het is niet niks - voor het eerst en alleen zo'n lange vlucht te maken. Andere culturen en eindeloze uren in een vliegtuig als je dat vreemd is. Toch zijn ook hier al wat vorderingen gemaakt wat betreft - vooruitkijken. Een zoon van een vriendin van mij heeft al aangegeven het GAAF te vinden als hij op kan trekken met mijn kleinzoon. Mijn kleinzoon heeft aangegeven dat hij alvast gaat verdiepen in wat 'huis tuin en keuken' Nederlands om zich beter thuis te voelen.

Binnenkort gaan die twee jonge mannen met elkaar communiceren. Spannend. Ik lig er (nog) niet wakker van, maar het vooruitzicht en mogelijkheid heeft mij wel erg blij gemaakt. Misschien wordt deze droom van ons toch ooit werkelijkheid.

Studeren, sparen en goed voorbereiden- dat zijn de ingrediënten waar wij aan zullen sleutelen. Wat een heerlijk vooruitzicht.


Who knows. I am no fortune teller or have access to information as to how my future will unfold. I do however have a dream. I think it is a 'oma' dream held bij many. That the grandchildren come and stay. And my grandson also has a dream- to visit and stay with oma. I guess it sounds very 'ordinary' to some. But in our case - quite a big deal. It isn't as if his mum or dad can drop him off.

It will be hours in a plane, different cultural experiences and a awakening to a new world outside the comfort of home. All alien except for oma. One more year of school. One last hurdle before having the space to take time to see which road he will take to adulthood. What to become, what craft or profession to tackle? Time to be influenced by other things and then on returning home being wiser, wider travelled and hopefully more focussed on his possibilities.

A friend's son, about the same age, is keen to meet my grandson. My grandson is keen to learn some simple dutch so he can at least make himself understood or listen to conversations without feeling totally in the dark about what is being said. Language barriers will be broken. They are due to 'meet up' online any day now.

I am hopeful and optimistic. I know this year needs the focus to be on his study - so I will be there to encourage and support. A visit in a few months from me will also give us opportunity to plan and nut out the wishes we both have. It does have to be achievable and work for both of us.

What a great prospect! I am one happy oma.