Aah, the memories!

On Messenger one morning: Oma for my migration project I need to know how old you are and where were you born and how old were you when you migrated? love Indi.

It is funny when recalling something, whether great or small, that one can almost think it happened recently. That the years between the event and the memory is so minimal that, to quote an old cliche, "it seems like it only happened yesterday". Oh how disillusioned one can become when it appears the 'recent' memory was a lifetime ago. Now that is a bit over dramatized, I'm sure many have experienced the surprise when we realize how time has flown.

Recently one of my grandchildren sent me a questionnaire about my family's immigration process and timeline. Memories flooded back like a huge tidal wave. Not only did my brain shoot into action but so did my emotions. My stomach gave the odd lurch and I was propelled back in time.... it seemed so close, that time. Almost tangible.

It was 1961 and we immigrated to New Zealand. I was 8 years old. The year previous when the first steps were taken, when my parents must have had long discussions and possibly tears and uncertainty, I was oblivious to how my future was going to be shaped by their decision. It wasn't like I ( or to my knowledge my 3 siblings) were consulted at this stage. Parents decided back then, not the children. They looked at their circumstances, the prospects for their children and the possibly quietly hidden private dream held for years. To find a place to live and give their children other, a different and as main reason, a better future.

Then the moment arrived when the stage was set we children were informed of this great event. We were leaving the Netherlands and immigrating to New Zealand. There were passports to apply for, injections to be had, farewells to be made, we started 'decluttering', not a word that was current back then, and we listened to a few radio broadcasts of new immigrants who related their experiences. We had to learn to speak English we were told. Yes and no weren't a problem, but whole sentences, terrifying! Who would understand us? I don't need to underline the fact that this was a scary prospect do I?

A lot has happened in the years after that decision. Life has been good to us though the outcome, the way our family's future was shaped, was not how my parents thought it would be. Of that I am convinced. To say this was a right or wrong decision would be far too simple. It was a decision that shaped us all and that's life. For everyone. Our path is unique to us though some aspects may match other families experiences. My parents lives were honest ones with always the best interest for us children at heart. And who could ask for more than that from a parent?

Be Good               Be Kind               Keep Smiling

Done and dusted

 Where did all those weeks disappear to?

I had from the 1st of September, the day I boarded my flight to Auckland New Zealand, till the 1 December, when I would board my flight back to Schiphol, Netherlands. That's 3 whole months. And I look on my watch to see, it is 30th November. I know, I hear you! Every day has 24 hours. None dropped a few by the wayside. I used them all. And used them well I may add. Now they are, all but one,  used up. 

This truly was a fantastic reunion with my family. Some I saw more than others. That's understandable due to the changes in their lives these past 3+1/2 years I was absent. Not by choice but by the situation which affected every country across the globe these past few years.

Unexpected events, planned moments, a flight to Australia. It all happened and I can tick many boxes. So I'll share a few with you, because I am just abuzz with memories made such a short time ago.

My trip over and arrival went almost without a hitch. A fog at Dubai rearranged the stopover somewhat but never fear, we left a tad later and still managed to arrive on time in Auckland. Thankfully my luggage arrived with me so that was a stress less. I have had that experience before and it isn't a comfortable one.

I was met at the airport by my good and dear friend Annette. My partner in crime ( traveler and mischief maker). Annette had booked a motel for the evening so I could catch up on some sleep, be rested before arriving at my son and daughter in law's home. The 4 children were obviously excited - as was pregnant mum, as she was due any time with the baby. Which transpired only a few days after my arrival. On 6th September my grandson was born on his dad's 40th birthday. If that wasn't joy enough, my son and daughter in law from Australia turned up at the door, totally unknown to both my son and me. What a reunion.

In the weeks that followed lots happened which only made even more special that I had arrived when I had. Mum and baby both had health issues. First one, then the other. I was able to pitch in and keep the washing machine turning and the meals arriving on the table. Including obviously all the other chores that come with running a household with 4+1 and an unwell mum and including a concerned father/son.

A short escape to Waikanae to my only surviving uncle ( dad's brother) and his wife ( my cousin on mum's side). They are both 84 and live in a lovely small care community, independent and very much surrounded by lovely nature. I loved meeting up with them and on my last evening their son who came for a few days stay. Hadn't met up with him for too many years to remember. This was a real treat. 

Dear friends came up from Napier, stayed with their daughter and family while we managed to spend time together. Normally I would drive down and visit various friends there but the nature of my stay was so different this time, I didn't move far out of Hamilton to be fair. Except for....

A flight to Melbourne Australia saw me reunited with my son and family ( the one who popped over for the 40th birthday and baby birth). I stayed 17 days in all of which I spend 4 nights staying with my grandson and his partner. We had some great times and lovely outings.

With the festive season around the corner, I introduced the grandchildren to Sinterklaas. It was fun. Then the morning of the day I was to leave for Annette's we had 'presents day' which caused a lot of hilarity fun and noise. Just fantastic. 

So you see why I think time just flew....I haven't even scratched the surface of the daily happenings...and this already sounds like a hectic but valuable time. My photo supply has increased- I have some gorgeous kiddie shots and from the trip to Waikanae and here at Annette and Mike's. I've got enough to edit for a few videos. All in good time.

Now it are the last happenings, dinner, soak in the hot tub, pack the cabin bag tomorrow and leave for the airport. Then, 

Time and I will fly......

Be good.          Be kind.         Keep smiling

A quick glance back - then move forward.

 A flash back- nothing wrong with looking back, albeit it just a glance. I stumbled on a writing from way back. Thought I would share- just because I can! Nice glance - now moving forward! I'll reveal and explain my new challenge soon. 

Link to my first blog

In 2012 I started blogging. It was just prior to my 60th birthday. My idea was, to write a wee something each day in my 60th year. Logging 356 days to look back on.  The opportunity to look back on 'a year well done.' A milestone reached.

It was a too big a task. I managed 81 'stories' in that first year. It would be my highest contributions ever on this blog. I was keen to learn. What works for me may not work for others. Do I care whether 80 or 801 people read my blog? My highest reader count is 1469, I was honoured, my least read is 22. The topic wasn't interesting enough I gather. But for me, something I can look back on and recall those moments I found important enough to write about. I'm happy if someone has gained anything at all by reading about my thoughts. I write to empty my head, to discover more about myself and to have this as a record of 'who I was' at the time of writing. In all honesty I can say that I've learnt as I went along. My 'opinions' or beliefs have continued to develop, adjusted themselves due to new insights and some have been confirmed over the years.

I maintain- that one is never to old to learn. And not just new things but also new thinking.

I started sorting my subjects into categories. I am bilingual, my children wouldn't be able to read my dutch blog which I started on the 17th July 2012. Writing, or blogging to be exact, kept me sharp in both languages. Being bi-lingual does mean one has to use both languages to practice the grammer. It is important to me that I keep up my English to be able to communicate with ease with my children, grandchildren and other family and friends. My native tongue, Dutch, is part of who I am, so being more than just capable of expressing myself is also imperative. It keep the cogs spinning.

As I said, one is never too old to learn.

My status as 'oma' provided another soapbox. Since 2015 I also write bi-lingually, about my life as oma. It keeps me on my toes, separates the topics I write about and also explains the reason why my annual contributions to each blog is limited. If I was to add them up, I'd be quite surprised. I don't write for the numbers, but to jot down events, thoughts and opinions that roam in my head. Some manage to end up being processed on my keyboard.

Juggling writing session in my daily and weekly schedule is a challenge- one is never too old to learn.

So I felt ready for another challenge. I've always loved photography on a amateur level. My computer groans under the weight of shots- many which are 'delete-able' and it's a job I've started tackling because I need to make space for my next learning curve.

In February last year ( 2018) I posted my first video on YouTube. Oooooh, was a nerve racking thing that was too. But I persevered and have learnt heaps since that day. Another challenge, another growth spurt and at 65+ glad I am able to challenge my grey matter into a new way of thinking. Not only am I able to express myself in word- I can now leave behind something more adventurous for my children and grandchildren. I'm still discovering new things, scared to try some others, apprehensive about tackling big projects- and enjoying the comments, images and adventures I've now committed visually to 'film' and embarked on this new adventure.


It is 2019 - I recall the moment our calendar changed from 1999 to 2000. It seems like only months ago. Life is 'Like an Hour Glass' with the sands of time spilling away so quickly. I want to make sure I fill the time I have with discovering new challenges and precious experiences.

One is never too old to learn. My opa used to say, "when my time is up I'll be able to sleep for as long as I like, for now, I'll keep busy doing whatever I can".

Great outlook, it obviously made an impression on me, as I was only very young when he died. I too will 'soldier on' and hopefully be inspired to keep challenging myself and continue to believe- one is never too old to learn.

Friendships and farewells

 Friendship

Precious - necessary - enriching - sharing - laughing - making memories - silence is good too.

What defines friendship? I find it hard to pinpoint, to place in a context or label it.

Last Friday a dear friend passed away, died, left this world. His name is John. Such a widely used name. Yet he was unique in his own way. From the first time we met he made me smile. His wife and I became great friends, close, supportive and fun friends. 

His wasn't an easy road the past 18 years which also meant it wasn't an easy road for his wife and family either. John suffered and survived heart failure. A massive heart failure. His whole life turned upside down in his 'prime' one could say. From an active fun loving caring and vital man to someone needing care, support, a watchful eye. Assistance with many issues. Painfully sad.

It could have turned him into a bitter and resentful person - but it didn't. It could have had the same effect on those he loved. It didn't.

The road they walked was heavy yet not somber. The highs and lows endured with verve and determination. Positivity was their saving grace. The love and dedication their fuel.

We, my husband and I, feel privileged to have walked some of those roads together. To have had time to make memories, share moments and become closer than maybe had John not had this attack on his healthy self.

We shared many a meal, laughs, outings, celebrations and special moments. These are what will keep John and his memory alive- to have him still in our midst when we say his name. When we travel alone, when we share time with his widow. Our friendship will last and take on another shape. It'll be new and we will be faced with another adventure, new beginnings and memories.

Tomorrow, as I address those present at the farewell, I want to share the special moments we had and allow others to enjoy those memories. To inspire people to cherish in their hearts that which connects them to John and his life in our midst.

Gosh we are going to miss that man - though he will stay with us forever!

Check out this link: A wee break away with John and Alie

Timing is everything- sometimes!

 

I'm not normally that focussed on the time issue ( except when it comes to appointments that is) It is just that lately we have been so busy doing so many things that I wonder how we manage it all. I seem to be getting lots more done and yet my pile of things to do isn't reducing at all. The more I do the more there is to do. Does that make sense at all? Probably not! Just a ramble that is running through my mind at the moment.

Good morning/afternoon/evening, where ever you are at, at the time of reading this ramble. I'm working my way through a few chores at the moment and they are taking longer than I anticipated. How do you cope with issues like this? I am also easily distracted for some obscure reason. Maybe I need a holiday 😂! Just kidding or am I? 

Talking about holidays, I have managed to post 7 videos so far of our Re-tour de France road trip on my YouTube channel. Such fun and good memories. Number 8 is in the pipeline- almost done. Why did we give it that title? Well because we started in the Netherlands, 'at the top' so to speak, and made a round trip returning to the same spot on the highway where we left. So we thought this quite an appropriate and fun title.

Five weeks on the road. Ten different places to lay one's head at night. All of them on my own pillow I might add. I take it everywhere. Can't sleep properly on someone else's pillow. Which brings to mind a trip to Australia I had many years ago. Yes even Down Under has seen me place my head on my own pillow. Till it became harder to get it into my overfull suitcase. 

My then wee grandson of 4 decided he wanted to keep me close each night so he confiscated my pillow and kept it for many a year on his bed. So lovely and heart warming.

Which brings me to the next subject: Where will my pillow take me to next? My last trip to visit my children was in 2019 with the intention of being back there at the end of 2020. We all know why that didn't happen. Less said the better. So it has been a struggle coping with the loss of physical contact over a much longer period of time that I ever have had away from my children. I am fully aware that there were harder, sadder and more gut wrenching struggles for many. It isn't that I want sympathy or am presenting myself as a victim. Just stating a fact. Yes, there is internet- yes there is light at the end of this long and dark tunnel. So I am now actively planning a trip to my other homeland, the one where I bore my children, where my parents are laid to rest and where a huge part of my life tells its story. 

This week will see me having a conversation with a travel agent, I am not prepared to book my own trip like I have done in the past. Too risky. It will see me blow off the dust of my pasport and relocate my NZ driver's license. It will see my bank balance shrink horrifically. It will also add another list of chores. But most of all, it will cause those pre-trip butterflies to return, those emotions of reconnecting with my own upsurge and take hold. It will most likely also cause disruption to my sleep despite my head being on my own pillow, due to the anticipation of what lies ahead. 

I guess that might just be why, I am easily distracted, can't get through all the lists like I am used to and already causing the fluttering in my being even though the ticket hasn't even been booked yet. So I am trying to keep occupied, to keep my mind on things to distract me. The editing I need to still do will be part of my therapy to keep my wits about me. The two children's books I want to complete before I leave need attention too. Plenty to do - now I must get on with them. No more rambling. Till next time.

In the meantime, enjoy the videos. It was a fantastic trip and we saw such beauty all around us. I am pleased to be able to share that with you. 

Be good    Be kind    Keep smiling

This is the link to my YT channel 

Welcome July 2022

 

I realised with great surprise that the first 6 months of the year have vanished, been used up, never to return. A few days ago I was editing the 6th episode of our French Road trip to post on YouTube when I saw it was exactly 2 months since we were on the road heading to Honfleur, our second destination. It made my head spin.

Looking back I had a replay in my mind about the months passed already in 2022 right up till that moment and can honestly say, I made ( almost) all those days count. Yes, there were a few "found it hard' to get off the couch moments. Days when at dusk I felt I could have achieved more, realising I would have had I had the energy.

Time: One can't keep a hold of it like one can of memories. They are there for the picking at will. Sometimes they surface at the most awkward or inconvenient times. Other times they act as a joyful gift reminding one of a wonderful experience, person or event which has settled somewhere between all those precious moments. That grey matter: Matters. The hard drive in our brain as a keeper of memories, secrets, wishes, hopes and dreams.

It is why we have diaries, photo albums, city records and in my case a YouTube channel. I don't commit everything to film or photo- I do commit all to my 'grey matter' though. Hopefully I'll be able to access it always. If not, well I'll not know will I?

Today is one of those days I seem to have the urge to ponder, to mull things over, good and sad. There are also plans to be made and domestic chores to be done. Lists to make and items to tick off.

The past weeks since our trip have been hectic, fun, but hectic. There was an unexpected invite to spend time with friends for 4 nights - 5 days. Then not long after a two night hotel stay with other friends which we had planned even before we went to France. We had visitors from Scotland. Not to mention all the normal daily routines, the dentist, hairdresser, dining out ( for a belated birthday) and other such frivolous ( just kidding) wonderful adventures that makes one smile just remembering. Oh and not to forget, this month started with me having a week home alone. My husband is away as part of a team who escort people with possibilities, on a week's holiday. So you see, our days are being put to good use so I shouldn't be surprised that the months are marching on by at such speed. 

My dream for this September is to be able to visit my children again finally since May 2019. It'll take a bit of organising but I am gearing up for it. A new grandchild on the way, catching up with everyone. For me 2022 is shaping up to be a WOW year. I hope yours is going well too.

Be good         Be Kind           keep smiling

If you want to see how our trip to Honfleur went: Check out this link.

Learning about the past

History all around you -

While traveling through France recently I learnt a lot ( didn't remember it all) about the places I visited and the people who made things happen there in times long gone. Internet at one's finger tips to discover why this particular person has been immortalized in a statue. Why a bridge carries a certain name. How the city flag or crest came into being. Quite mysterious then, how this was the topic in a message to me by my Australian grandson. 

- and that of the family kind

“Oma, does our ( meaning my) family have a family crest? Here I was, in a lovely restored French barn now a modern comfortable holiday let, a gîte, overlooking the Pyrenees when this message popped on my screen.

Now it isn’t that Max isn’t interested in his paternal family ( his granddad), but Max has been to the Netherlands. He has stood on the spot where the house once stood in which I was born. He has scaled the church tower from the Bonifatius in Leeuwarden, the one my father climbed when the Netherlands, and more precisely, the North, was liberated ending WWII.

I think, summize, that those experiences and the memories he gained has had a deeper impact on him and now, 4 years on years and their relevance has a deeper meaning.

Yes, there is a crest in the family on my mum’s side. Dating presumably since the 1600s. There is a description of the symbols but not a really clear explanation why those symbols were used. Obviously there are guesses, well thought out suppositions and stabs in the dark. 

I have translated and shared the findings, will pointed him to our genealogy website and promised to unearth ( I have a source 😇) information on my dad’s side. 

The question arose, is it an idea to create our own crest…one which embraces the Dutch/ Frysian/ New Zealand and Australian heritage to which he belongs? What would he/ we want this crest to say, to tell future generations about us, about Max and his digging into his roots? 

It got me thinking, as things do, and I realise those crests did have purpose. Why did ‘we’ stop creating or claiming them? Who has a right to the family crest designed by those so long ago with their story in mind? 

Being an OmaFArAway, I wanted something tangible and lasting to introduce myself and extended family to my grandchildren. I unearthed photos of my grandparents, aunts and uncles, my siblings, and their children. I created a mini genealogy album. To date I have made one for them all with one in the making. Yes, I am to become an OMA once more. Baby is due end of August early September. And YES, I am looking at my travel possibilities to return Down Under for the first time since leaving there mid May 2019 after a 3 month Oma visit. 

So thoughts to ponder on, ideas to develop and choices to be made. Who has and still uses the family crest for official or unofficial purposes. Letterheads maybe?

So back to the drawing board I go, researching more information for my video I am working on. I am grateful for those who spend time building all these information websites. Now there's a challenging task. 

Be good be kind and keep smiling.

 

Link to my YouTube channel: OmaFarAway

Roaming the Gloaming

 Hello there, here I am again, good to see you back reading my blog! 

It’s funny how one thought leads to another, just as one event links itself to another. Cause and effect. Forget the butter at the supermarket then you can forget the baking plans you had at home. Some people are creative in that situation and manage to conjure up an alternative to the forgotten butter and overcome the hurdle. A new plan is made, adjustments all round and the cake tasted great. Who knew!

Bit of a simple example. There are many more, far more reaching and impacting but let’s keep it simple. At 6:40 am no one is expecting me to write a theses or are they? Just kidding. This cause and effect, or have an alternative plan, or thoughts chasing thoughts came to development due to a news item last week and it popped up again yesterday.

Monkeypox disease I believe it is called. It made me feel uncomfortable. A de ja vu feeling crept over me. Now in various parts of the world this viral disease is manifesting itself. Sort of out of nowhere, the land of origin is known, but lo and behold it is becoming wider spread than ever before. It has traveled! Just like you and I do when we decide to move from one place to another. Or when the wind blows and transferes pollen, seeds, odours. When storms bring Sahara sand from the Sahara to places far removed and reminds us there are dryer places in our world, closer than we realise. That sand storms happen.  

That de ja vu wasn’t surprising. Let’s face it, I will not be the only one who is caught out thinking, “No,  not another illness we can’t contain?” People travel. I’m doing that right now.  What am I leaving behind and/ or taking back? Am I even leaving anything behind other than my footsteps and impressions by those we’ve met? Am I taking more back than photos, impressions, memories and maybe a wine and cheese or two?

It was end of September to mid October 2019. For three weeks we were in France. We stayed in the Morvan for a week and two weeks in the Cévennes. ( I’ll put the link below) Wonderful holiday it was. We traveled there and traveled back. In June 2020 I had plans to travel to Cornwall and Devon with my friend, who lives in New Zealand by the way, so she had even more traveling to do than I, being just across the pond from the UK. Then round September I would go visit my children and grandchildren again. My last visit being early March to mid May 2019. Plans were forged. Travel, we humans travel. Some more than others I admit, but travel we do. Short and long distances. Not just for a holiday. Some travel for work. World wide.

What do we take and leave behind and what do we bring back? So there is my thought chasing a thought. To travel and learn, be enthralled at what one sees, experiences? Or do we stay in our own environment and not take anything with us or leave anything behind?

I’m an optimistic realist/ realistic optimist! We have choices to make based on not only our own needs but also for the ‘common good’. Now it is no use blaming Bill Gates and the micro chip ( sorry had to get in). We only have humanism to look at as far as responsibility is concerned. We make the choices. 

The world became populated because people traveled. In search of food, comfort, a space of their own. People mingled, groups were formed and split up…more movement. Diaspora, the dispersion or spread of any people from their original homeland. Our feet have been a mode of transport since time began. Are we able to not travel? What will that achieve? Like the butter, what could be our alternative? To still have the cake(travel) but no butter. I guess like we are experiencing now it is the use of vaccines. If you want to travel, then there will be the need to protect not only one’s self but vaccinate for the common good. Is that the answer or is it No More Travel?

Be good - be kind - keep smiling ( now there’s a thought!)

Talk about traveling: Check out this link to my channel OmaFarAway.

France 2019: 

How I try to be an Oma from a distance

 

There are many interpretations of being an oma ( grandmother) . My immediate thought would be, "oh, living far apart".  Sadly, for some, that isn't the case and I am well aware that some omas live physically close but have another sort of distance to bridge. And that must be hard. This blog title is about the physical distance many omas have in relation to their grandchildren, yet some of the emotions and experiences do share commonalities.

How to stay in touch? How to create and maintain a strong relationship? How to become and stay a part of each grandchild's life?

I guess that's different for everyone. All I can share is some of the things I do or attempt to do. Maybe there are ideas or possibilities in my sharing that may appeal to you. I'm certainly open to suggestions in the comments should you want to share.

While still living in New Zealand my eldest son moved to Australia. There he established a family and my OmaFarAway existence began. Their home, the farm, wasn't exactly round the corner and the trip to visit was a long one. Then I moved to the Netherlands and after a few years my daughter started her family. That was so hard. I had a job and couldn't 'just' pick up and leave to be with her. I still, to this day, recall when and where I was when the birth phone call came and the emotions that engulfed me. Before the birth of her second child I was able to be there and stayed 7-8 weeks with a visit to Australia sandwiched in between. I had become a jet-setting oma.

The families grew. My youngest son also started his family a few years later and I've attempted to visit every 18 months on average since my departure in 2000. I'm struggling at the moment as Covid19 is a deal breaker. I SO MISS VISITING MY (Grand)CHILDREN. Sorry about the caps! It is so heart wrenching to have not seen them since 2019.

But that's the reality and whilst I struggle with this situation, I am grateful to be alive and well and that they are too. So then, how do I stay connected, in touch, in the picture and involved?

The difference in the ages plays a huge role. I recall my mum on the odd occasion 'complaining' she missed seeing the kids when they grew into teenagers and spread their wings more. That changed again as they grew a wee bit older and were in a different flow of their lives. So it is with grandchildren, the exception ever present of course.

Recently I sent a wee parcel containing two reading books I had written myself. My youngest son also has the youngest family. I know not everyone likes writing, and some prefer drawing or taking photos. With my stories I am present at bedtime in book form. The stories can be read any time of the day but especially the night time read is one I miss. So I thought, let's write them stories. I actually only had that revelation recently. My writing idea developed itself along the way. So the older grandchildren missed out on that. I will however print off some copies so they might later read them to their children. 

For the hobby cook(s), I've made an Oma Cookbook. To keep memorie alive I've created the odd photo album of my visits and of course we have the amazing technology of today so that we can FaceTime and 'just' chat sending messages to and fro.

In 2018 I started a YouTube channel by the same name, OmaFarAway, and make videos of places we visit, things that occupy me, and even in the kitchen I showcase some of my recipes. I was 47 when I became an oma. Regardless of whether I lived close or far, I had a job so wouldn't have been 'free' to be in attendance all the time. Now, 30 years on, I've had to embrace modern technology to utilise this medium to shorten the physical distance and hope that the memories we make, the connections we have, the interactions we share, is enough to make life long memories. To create a bond that may not be what I dreamt of as a child, but is strong enough to keep the relationship healthy, loving and alive.

Being Omafaraway does mean I miss a lot of special moments. I could be quite down in the dumps about that. Of course it hurts at times, but life sends it's challenges and it is up to me to make the most of what I have- not dwell about what isn't! 

How do you experience your 'oma' situation?