Aah, the memories!

On Messenger one morning: Oma for my migration project I need to know how old you are and where were you born and how old were you when you migrated? love Indi.

It is funny when recalling something, whether great or small, that one can almost think it happened recently. That the years between the event and the memory is so minimal that, to quote an old cliche, "it seems like it only happened yesterday". Oh how disillusioned one can become when it appears the 'recent' memory was a lifetime ago. Now that is a bit over dramatized, I'm sure many have experienced the surprise when we realize how time has flown.

Recently one of my grandchildren sent me a questionnaire about my family's immigration process and timeline. Memories flooded back like a huge tidal wave. Not only did my brain shoot into action but so did my emotions. My stomach gave the odd lurch and I was propelled back in time.... it seemed so close, that time. Almost tangible.

It was 1961 and we immigrated to New Zealand. I was 8 years old. The year previous when the first steps were taken, when my parents must have had long discussions and possibly tears and uncertainty, I was oblivious to how my future was going to be shaped by their decision. It wasn't like I ( or to my knowledge my 3 siblings) were consulted at this stage. Parents decided back then, not the children. They looked at their circumstances, the prospects for their children and the possibly quietly hidden private dream held for years. To find a place to live and give their children other, a different and as main reason, a better future.

Then the moment arrived when the stage was set we children were informed of this great event. We were leaving the Netherlands and immigrating to New Zealand. There were passports to apply for, injections to be had, farewells to be made, we started 'decluttering', not a word that was current back then, and we listened to a few radio broadcasts of new immigrants who related their experiences. We had to learn to speak English we were told. Yes and no weren't a problem, but whole sentences, terrifying! Who would understand us? I don't need to underline the fact that this was a scary prospect do I?

A lot has happened in the years after that decision. Life has been good to us though the outcome, the way our family's future was shaped, was not how my parents thought it would be. Of that I am convinced. To say this was a right or wrong decision would be far too simple. It was a decision that shaped us all and that's life. For everyone. Our path is unique to us though some aspects may match other families experiences. My parents lives were honest ones with always the best interest for us children at heart. And who could ask for more than that from a parent?

Be Good               Be Kind               Keep Smiling

Being right can sometimes be wrong!

 

Ethics are the standard of what is right and wrong, and they are based on our values. Being ethical requires making a moral judgment, and that's not always easy. Ethical behavior takes courage and has to be practiced.

A heavy subject today- somehow I needed to get it 'Out of my head'

I don't know who wrote that. Found this highly philosophical statement while looking up the rights and wrongs, or some sort of analyses about this phenomena we humans seem to struggle with.

Who is right and who is wrong? Why do we always want to have a clear cut answer? Do we, as individuals, aways need assurance that whatever our stance in any controversy, is your or my right better than that of the other person?

Political parties have this down off pat. That's why I think we have such a missmash of ideals, failed proposals and half developed laws and new legislation, which when the other party takes over the reins after an election, overturns some of these newly set out plans because they are deemed: Wrong for 'our people/country'. And we will never know how right or wrong the decisions would have been.

Bring it a bit closer to home: A difference of opinion about the alterations planned for a home. A couple, knowing they are going to have to spend a large amount of money on their investment struggle to come to a compromise about the color scheme outside. Something that will impact both of them every time they arrive at the home. Being confronted all the time with something you just, not even like, but are strongly against. Instead of looking at an alternative, they struggle and argue, inflicting pain on each other in their relationship, just because they both can't let go of their 'I'm right that will look awful and spoil the look of our home". I say ditch both those colors and go for something new.

Or any other personal conflict for that matter. I've heard a friend say that her husband accuses her of always wanting to be right! Accuses, mind you! Hello. How about thinking there may be another way of looking at an issue? How about respect for someone's opinion, vision and look on life without it having to be right or wrong?

I have noticed, maybe it was always so, but since the pandemic hit our world, there is a lot of "I'm right- you are wrong" issues. And on a larger scale, the wars that rage are about being 'right' by both parties. Each an onslaught, attack, infringement of rights ( there's that word again) in the sense of personal safety and wellbeing.

I'm not right - and I am not wrong, I have shaped ideals, visions, opinions during my lifetime which undergo, and continue to do so, changes as time, experiences and new insights occur.  So maybe next year when I go back and read this, I may totally disagree with myself: Well, to stay in the vain of the writing- I may just say to myself, " that's one way of looking at it".

Be good.          Be kind.          Keep smiling.

I do have lighter moments: 

Check out my YouTube channel for lighthearted entertainment and travel experiences.