Living life as a pensionado

As a child, one lives and walks the path set out by parents. And rightly so.

As an adult, one walks the path chosen either single or married, with or without children.

Then the new stage: Pension time. Married or single, take your pick!

Yes, it goes that fast. In a flash, time hasn't stood still even though there were times when things seemed to never end. Like children's coughs and colds, more work challenges, changes in situations. More challenges. Then, it's one's last day at work! Well, I'm talking paid employment. Before you know it, aged 65 ( or in our case in the Netherlands I was 66+4 months as we slowly work our way to 67 being the new pension age). Now, every month like clockwork,  my wage is automatically transferred from the Government coffers into mine. I feel privileged but also deserving. I worked more than 40 years so feel I am entitled to my pension.

A new road to travel beckons, well I've been traveling on it a year or two now and I've enjoyed every minute to be honest. I don't miss working, full diaries with appointments, meetings and conferences, being at other people's beck and call though I loved my job(s).

What I would have appreciated though, is what YouTube has on offer these days. People talking about retirement and the steps one could take in preparation to this point in one's life. I listen to these pointers and think, "wow, that is so sensible". Or " I wish I'd known that"! Some ideas I did have though. Now I can't speak for my partner of 21 years, as his preparation started separate to mine and his path is his own. I'm just talking about my own personal process here. The filling in of the time wasn't my main focus. The financial stability wasn't an issue in the sense that I knew I'd get a monthly amount, but would that be enough for the situation I would then find myself in? That was such a murky, unclear picture. I know that one of the saving's scheme I had set up for this moment in time was needed much earlier and now isn't available for the top up moments I had previously planned it for. Cé la vie!

Apart from realizing one needs an income at retirement age, how do you prepare? Do you have a separate savings account in which you deposit $50 in every payday, more if you are a more than comfortable earner. Start young. Straight away in fact- with the first pay pakket! No not at the end of the period, but right then and there, when receiving the money. Make it an auto payment. Move it out of sight. Increase it after 5 years even by a small amount. My savings are accumulated on payday. So if I start with that removed out of my current account I have to manage on what's left. It's called budgeting. I'm a bit close to the red line, if you get my drift, for this month, but I'll make it to payday. Anyway, that's just one of the things I did learn from my dad. You don't save what's left, you gather when the money rolls in. Thanks dad. Yes, I have a personal account. We share all expenses, discuss large purchases and aside from that we manage our own personal needs. A bit of autonomy isn't a bad thing. 

Employment stops: Am I bored? Not ever. Have I managed to plot and plan sensibly, no way. Well, I am sensible most of the time with commitments. What I do do however is not to plan too far ahead. That way there is room for the unexpected. Recently my husband and his brother went to Spain for 10 days. So I was Home Alone.

I did not fill my diary with lunch, coffee and dinner dates. Not one! I wanted to be really free to come and go or stay as the mood took me. There were mundane things on my list - which I implemented according to weather conditions. In the drizzly warm rain I cleaned our balcony. Got rid of the winter glow you might say. Easier when wet and not the sort of day you'd go towning and arounding. As the sun now greets me most mornings I too realized the windows needed a good treatment. Now those don't sound very exciting things for a Home Alone time, but believe me, they were. I so enjoyed the results booked with a bit of effort and no interruptions. And for those who read these blogs more regularly, I had two visits with ma, my bonus mother in law, 93 years young. Her washing is all set to be reunited with her, which I'll do tomorrow. 

Then there were the days out. Yes, I did have some. I use my "old lady" train subscription with which, for a very manageable price, I get to travel 7 days free of charge and the rest with 40% discount. So I went roaming our gloaming. Visited a museum I'd not heard of before, a Textile Museum in Tilburg of great international renown it appears, and a day in Middelburg in the province Zeeland. My companion, a neighbor turned friend,  traveled with the privilege of my subscription and received 40% discount on her train ticket. The weather was extremely kind, the lunches and wine on sun drenched terraces on city squares were a pure delight. The company great, the laughs plenty and the accumulated steps on our health app a real bonus. We walked the extra calories off for sure.

It is life back as I know it: My Home Alone days are over. As of yesterday my husband and his brother returned from their special time together. Making their own memories. This too is the fun part of pensionado time. Giving each other time and space to be 'self'. To realize dreams or wishes which can't be realized during one's adult working life. Brothers are important too - not just partners! 

So as we have now entered Easter Weekend 2023 and spring is definitely present, summer beckoning and plans for a road trip being forged, life is good to me, to us. 

Be Good             Be Happy        Keep smiling

Aah, the memories!

On Messenger one morning: Oma for my migration project I need to know how old you are and where were you born and how old were you when you migrated? love Indi.

It is funny when recalling something, whether great or small, that one can almost think it happened recently. That the years between the event and the memory is so minimal that, to quote an old cliche, "it seems like it only happened yesterday". Oh how disillusioned one can become when it appears the 'recent' memory was a lifetime ago. Now that is a bit over dramatized, I'm sure many have experienced the surprise when we realize how time has flown.

Recently one of my grandchildren sent me a questionnaire about my family's immigration process and timeline. Memories flooded back like a huge tidal wave. Not only did my brain shoot into action but so did my emotions. My stomach gave the odd lurch and I was propelled back in time.... it seemed so close, that time. Almost tangible.

It was 1961 and we immigrated to New Zealand. I was 8 years old. The year previous when the first steps were taken, when my parents must have had long discussions and possibly tears and uncertainty, I was oblivious to how my future was going to be shaped by their decision. It wasn't like I ( or to my knowledge my 3 siblings) were consulted at this stage. Parents decided back then, not the children. They looked at their circumstances, the prospects for their children and the possibly quietly hidden private dream held for years. To find a place to live and give their children other, a different and as main reason, a better future.

Then the moment arrived when the stage was set we children were informed of this great event. We were leaving the Netherlands and immigrating to New Zealand. There were passports to apply for, injections to be had, farewells to be made, we started 'decluttering', not a word that was current back then, and we listened to a few radio broadcasts of new immigrants who related their experiences. We had to learn to speak English we were told. Yes and no weren't a problem, but whole sentences, terrifying! Who would understand us? I don't need to underline the fact that this was a scary prospect do I?

A lot has happened in the years after that decision. Life has been good to us though the outcome, the way our family's future was shaped, was not how my parents thought it would be. Of that I am convinced. To say this was a right or wrong decision would be far too simple. It was a decision that shaped us all and that's life. For everyone. Our path is unique to us though some aspects may match other families experiences. My parents lives were honest ones with always the best interest for us children at heart. And who could ask for more than that from a parent?

Be Good               Be Kind               Keep Smiling

Having your world turned upside down

Ninety three years ago ma was born in a small village - and she never left. For 69 years ma has lived at the same address. Till now. Till her world was turned upside down. 

Who is ma?

Ma is my bonus mother in law. I am married to her son in law. The man who was widowed when her daughter died. He kept in touch, as did ma. After a few years he and I met and subsequently married. I am now ma's daughter in law. For the past 20 years we have grown very close and I care deeply for her wellbeing and she for mine. Although not family, she shows interest in my children and grandchildren. She is always thrilled for me when I visit them for longish stretches, she is always very happy to see me return.

On my last visit to New Zealand, the undesired happened. Ma had a brain haemorrhage and was quite ill for some time. Oh the shock and emotions I felt. I was half a world away. So sad and worrying. Ma being ma, she rallied. She is made of tough stuff is ma. Has had her share of challenges and gets up to fight another day. Rehab took some time. From a dynamic, independent and self efficient woman - to now dependent on many for her care. Thankfully ma's personality, clearheaded thinking and will power means she can still participate in the world today keeping up with the news, the events around her and the stories her family and those who care for her, tell. She's mastered the art of a wheelchair. At ma's age, the number of friends around her have dwindled dramatically. Those able, visited faithfully giving her some diversion in the long days at the rehab facility.

Times have changed. Many years ago if one needed care, the choice was yours for the making. To stay in one's own town or place of birth was a natural choice and very understandable. In today's world with the 'greying' population increasing and the facilities not able to meet the demand, where one 'ends up' is not always of one's choosing. And so it is with ma. She has been allocated very comfortable, spacious accommodation with caring staff in a lovely part of the landscape- but not her landscape. Too far for the elderly friends to 'pop in'. Not in her own surroundings and loved place far from the home she lived in for 69 years. It hurts. It hurts her, it hurts her family and it hurts me.

I understand that ma is crushed. Not because the place isn't to her liking, not because she thinks the staff aren't good to her - but in ma's words, " I feel cut off from my world". Will ma find peace with her new situation? Will she ever feel 'at home'? Will there be a possibility eventually that a place closer to her home becomes available? Will she then be physically able to make the move back? So many questions.

I am pleased ma is out the rehab facility - it was a medical situation and ma didn't need that sort of care. It was to tide her over till somewhere was found. I am pleased it is a light, airy, spacious space with a nice sunny position and opportunity to even sit outside. The staff I have met are lovely caring and dedicated people. The service ma gets is great meeting every need - except 'her' people. Her past, her memories. Anyway, I am hopeful that one way or another ma will feel more at ease once she settles in more. Should a place become available in 'her' town, we will cross that possibility when and if it happens. Right now this is what it is and we will support ma in lots of ways to make it bearable and maybe even enjoyable. For now, there isn't anything we can do but be supportive, understanding and loving.

So proud of you ma.

Be good.      Be Kind.           Keep smiling. 

It's all in the planning, the excitement is mounting.

 A clear blue sky, the sun is doing it's best to send warmth on this chilly February Monday. Another month draws to a close in 2023. Is it just me or are the days shorter than last year? Just kidding - well sort of. I somehow feel that I achieve less per day this year than I did last. Why is that? I know in all reasoning that this is ridiculous. There are still 24 hours in the day and seven days in a week. Maybe it's because it is February and there are only 28 days, making the reality of another month dawning just that much sooner than I anticipated. Who knows? I won't go on about it - just thought I'd 'throw it in the group' letting you ponder should you feel so inclined. It is Monday after all! 🤣

This time last year our spring holidays were taking shape quite nicely thank you. We do plan to be away again the month of May this year, and finally yesterday we took the first step to make sure we commit and continue our research and plan accordingly. We are aware of the possibilities, the possible limitations and the age we are, that we need to take and make opportunities when they present themselves. As I mentioned: Time is of the essence! Exciting stuff. I can almost get the feeling the holiday has started - the preparation being part and parcel of the whole experience.

Our last 'big' trip, Re-tour de France, was a great success and I guess we will be measuring this one against it. Despite that being quite unfair. Different country, different rules, different expectations. It would be like comparing apples with oranges. Couldn't make myself say pears - so traditional! 😂

It will again be a road trip. My flying experience of September and December are still a vivid memory and long distance flights enough without wanting to find myself being catapulted once again into that open air space. Keeping the feet ( and rubber) firmly on the ground. I am looking forward to the driving part. More challenges I am sure. Nice thing is when traveling in one's own car, it is comfortable and reliable. I know its quirks. Rentals are an enigma, the unknown quantity. 🚘

Right now we are looking for our second stop, a place to lay our heads to rest and working out for how many days. There is so much to see, explore and enjoy. No, I am not going to disclose the destination just yet. Keeping it exciting. 🪙

So thank you February for being a not too wild a winter month. I'm enjoying the longer daylight hours and the new buds on the trees, the pristine snowflakes and bright crocuses bobbing their delicate heads above the ground. Winter hasn't left the building yet, I am aware of that. Anything can stil happen to make it want to stay and gather strength. We have had no snow to really speak of so that's still very possible. Still, no use conjuring up the whims of Mother Nature. What will be will be. 

🏖️ 🌋 ☔️ ☃️

Should you wish to enjoy some spring from your armchair, here is the link to the:

Playlist of our French get-away!

Till next time

Be Good                    Be Kind                  Keep smiling

World events and other stuff!

As I mentioned in my last blog about a book I was just starting to read, I had to put it down and let it rest a while. Then finally, I plucked up my Dutch Courage, and read on. The book was called, " The Sisters of Auschwitz," by Yvonne van Ieperen. It exposed a darker side of our (my) country's history. Nothing to be proud of. I know, I know, it is all explainable, sometimes even justifiable, but betrayal in my eyes is unforgivable. Easy for me to say in 2023, in my warm home, comfy chair at my desk in my Woman Cave, where the only 'bang' noises I hear is from fireworks the youth so desperately want to let off!

That's the thing and also the theme of today's world. Hindsight can be more of a hindrance than help, whilst I like to think, we need hindsight so we can use the events to learn and adapt our handling during situations which overwhelm us. Not to use to brow beat the past and point fingers, looking for someone to blame.

If I look back on my life's path there are many decisions that I could have made differently. There would still have been a action-reaction, only different. I will never know how different. My imagination could - but that's neither here nor there. 

Recent cyclone weather has hit mostly the North Island of New Zealand. Loss of life. Millions, maybe even billions of dollars in damage, and as the saying goes, " it ain't over yet!". More rain and high damaging winds are on the way. People have been urged to have a minimum of 3 days food and water at the ready. 

In Ukraine the war still rages, as it does in so many countries. In Turkey and Syria death and destruction. With Syria being doubly hit with the conflicts there making bringing aid there difficult. What a tragedy. Too big for words. Drought, hunger greed and animosity. When will the proverbial penny drop?

What a tragic situation we humans are in. We cannot seem to find the recipe for peace and co-operation. Of humanism and altruism. I can imagine people despairing. Of wondering whether it is worth staying around for what seems like more unrest, disaster and sadness.

I am not a pessimist. I firmly believe there is a way. Not a way back, because that is paved with all what is wrong with today's world. But a way forward. To scrutinize the past, admit the bad judgement calls and walk together. We CAN do this. It isn't hard. Let go of wanting to be the best! The first! The mightiest! Stop imposing values YOU alone respect and allow for diversity and uniqueness. Everyone has something to offer. We all count.

It is funny, when I started writing I had such another 'path' I was going to follow. I've let my fingers do the walking of the keyboard. What I do want to add, and then I will rest my fingers, is:

I am 'white', blond going grey, a female, catholic, have social justice as my focus, adopted the verse from Micah ( 8:6) many many years ago as my mantra, make mistakes, am aware of my shortcomings and am sitting at my 'typewriter' so maybe I could be called a " Social Media Cowboy (girl)" shooting from the hip. I am aware if I was to join the conversation about issues I will be judged on that and labelled accordingly. So many thoughts I have a filtered, unsaid and unwritten. Freedom of thought, speech and ideals are no longer free. That makes me sad! 

On a lighter note, as I said, I am not a pessimist, the aid being offered from around the world to grief stricken areas gives me hope, the many organizations which set about helping people in need are many, the realization we need to do something to change our way of life in regard to the environment is being seen as more and more urgent and accepted as a responsibility by all.

Don't just be kind to the neighbor but be kind to the whole neighborhood. And as a friend of mine says at the end of all her videos: "Do something kind for the world today!"

Live Justly

Love tenderly, 

and walk humbly with your God.

Micah 8:6

Be Good.              Be kind.          Keep smiling

Oeps, I skipped December

 "Time flies when you are having fun", or so the saying goes. So I must have been having so much fun in December I didn't have time for my blog. Truth is, I had time, I just didn't have the energy. In fact, I had plenty to write about, only it were all sort of irritations, Moaning Mini items which were a result of world or local news events, happenings in and around the area or just wet, dark and dismal weather influences. Stuff happens!

So here I am on the 11th of January and it's the start of another year in which time will continue to fly. The weather isn't what it used to be this time of year. Not sure whether winter will re-appear after only having been around for about 10 days early December. Maybe it won't be back at all or it won't start till spring. One of the things I am still grateful for is that there isn't a weather dial, well I tell myself there isn't one, so that humans decide on what the weather might be today or tomorrow. Although we do have an effect on the weather by the way we have treated Mother Earth all these years. But that's another moan.

I'm an early riser. In the summer that's quite a different experience than in the winter months where it's dark till after 8am. At the 'height' of winter it is even dark till 9-ish. That makes for a different experience than in summer, where I can sit on the balcony with my morning coffee and welcome the day. It does however, give me more time each day to get things done. I watch videos on YouTube I've subscribed to, there is ample time to chat with friends in different time zones and I get to read the paper and do the crossword - hot of the press so to speak all before 9am when our pensioner life gets going! As we live in an apartment I get to walk downstairs and back up thus bagging the first bit of exercise for the day. A great mini work out, we live on the third floor and there are 54 steps to descend and then climb. My iWatch is pleased with me. 

Having met my commitments to my subscribed channels I then have time to work on my own videos. Editing takes quite some concentration and dedication. The software is great but not without flaws and instabilities. Occasionally after saving my hard work only to find upon resuming the task that the files have miraculously 'gone missing' whilst I haven't done a thing to cause this. So it's back to the drawing board. These days I find myself at my desk working furiously to get the video out in a day. Once converted I am safe. Phew, neck strain, backache but a sense of achievement is soothing ointment for my wellbeing. 

And so I trundle on. I visit my bonus mother in law twice a week, I do the grocery shopping before everyone wakes. Done and dusted by 8:30- I love going early when it is quiet and spacious in the supermarket. No trolley bashing. I try to get a decent walk in each day - though the motivation is sometimes lacking. We may not have the weather we usually do but rain is not a fun weather type to walk in and certainly not to bike in. My bike will be hybernating till spring I am afraid. There is a book I am slowly getting deeper and deeper into, The Sisters of Auschwitz by Yvonne van Ieperen. Heavy reading due to the topic but fascinating at the same time. 

Plans for a break away are in the offing. Last year France was our Valhalla ( check the videos here) This year we have somewhere else in mind, plans follow in a future blog when the plan has taken more shape. 

A few invites noted in the diary and a few dinner parties in the pipeline. The year is shaping up to be quite enjoyable, Now I'd be thrilled with a large win in the lottery as there are some projects I'd like to support both near and far. 

So, 2023, I'll do my best to be a regular spiller of thoughts, frustrations and ideas. Hope the year pans out the way you, my reader, wants it to. Blessings and strengths to you all.

Be GOOD                            Be KIND                          Be HAPPY

Done and dusted

 Where did all those weeks disappear to?

I had from the 1st of September, the day I boarded my flight to Auckland New Zealand, till the 1 December, when I would board my flight back to Schiphol, Netherlands. That's 3 whole months. And I look on my watch to see, it is 30th November. I know, I hear you! Every day has 24 hours. None dropped a few by the wayside. I used them all. And used them well I may add. Now they are, all but one,  used up. 

This truly was a fantastic reunion with my family. Some I saw more than others. That's understandable due to the changes in their lives these past 3+1/2 years I was absent. Not by choice but by the situation which affected every country across the globe these past few years.

Unexpected events, planned moments, a flight to Australia. It all happened and I can tick many boxes. So I'll share a few with you, because I am just abuzz with memories made such a short time ago.

My trip over and arrival went almost without a hitch. A fog at Dubai rearranged the stopover somewhat but never fear, we left a tad later and still managed to arrive on time in Auckland. Thankfully my luggage arrived with me so that was a stress less. I have had that experience before and it isn't a comfortable one.

I was met at the airport by my good and dear friend Annette. My partner in crime ( traveler and mischief maker). Annette had booked a motel for the evening so I could catch up on some sleep, be rested before arriving at my son and daughter in law's home. The 4 children were obviously excited - as was pregnant mum, as she was due any time with the baby. Which transpired only a few days after my arrival. On 6th September my grandson was born on his dad's 40th birthday. If that wasn't joy enough, my son and daughter in law from Australia turned up at the door, totally unknown to both my son and me. What a reunion.

In the weeks that followed lots happened which only made even more special that I had arrived when I had. Mum and baby both had health issues. First one, then the other. I was able to pitch in and keep the washing machine turning and the meals arriving on the table. Including obviously all the other chores that come with running a household with 4+1 and an unwell mum and including a concerned father/son.

A short escape to Waikanae to my only surviving uncle ( dad's brother) and his wife ( my cousin on mum's side). They are both 84 and live in a lovely small care community, independent and very much surrounded by lovely nature. I loved meeting up with them and on my last evening their son who came for a few days stay. Hadn't met up with him for too many years to remember. This was a real treat. 

Dear friends came up from Napier, stayed with their daughter and family while we managed to spend time together. Normally I would drive down and visit various friends there but the nature of my stay was so different this time, I didn't move far out of Hamilton to be fair. Except for....

A flight to Melbourne Australia saw me reunited with my son and family ( the one who popped over for the 40th birthday and baby birth). I stayed 17 days in all of which I spend 4 nights staying with my grandson and his partner. We had some great times and lovely outings.

With the festive season around the corner, I introduced the grandchildren to Sinterklaas. It was fun. Then the morning of the day I was to leave for Annette's we had 'presents day' which caused a lot of hilarity fun and noise. Just fantastic. 

So you see why I think time just flew....I haven't even scratched the surface of the daily happenings...and this already sounds like a hectic but valuable time. My photo supply has increased- I have some gorgeous kiddie shots and from the trip to Waikanae and here at Annette and Mike's. I've got enough to edit for a few videos. All in good time.

Now it are the last happenings, dinner, soak in the hot tub, pack the cabin bag tomorrow and leave for the airport. Then, 

Time and I will fly......

Be good.          Be kind.         Keep smiling

A quick glance back - then move forward.

 A flash back- nothing wrong with looking back, albeit it just a glance. I stumbled on a writing from way back. Thought I would share- just because I can! Nice glance - now moving forward! I'll reveal and explain my new challenge soon. 

Link to my first blog

In 2012 I started blogging. It was just prior to my 60th birthday. My idea was, to write a wee something each day in my 60th year. Logging 356 days to look back on.  The opportunity to look back on 'a year well done.' A milestone reached.

It was a too big a task. I managed 81 'stories' in that first year. It would be my highest contributions ever on this blog. I was keen to learn. What works for me may not work for others. Do I care whether 80 or 801 people read my blog? My highest reader count is 1469, I was honoured, my least read is 22. The topic wasn't interesting enough I gather. But for me, something I can look back on and recall those moments I found important enough to write about. I'm happy if someone has gained anything at all by reading about my thoughts. I write to empty my head, to discover more about myself and to have this as a record of 'who I was' at the time of writing. In all honesty I can say that I've learnt as I went along. My 'opinions' or beliefs have continued to develop, adjusted themselves due to new insights and some have been confirmed over the years.

I maintain- that one is never to old to learn. And not just new things but also new thinking.

I started sorting my subjects into categories. I am bilingual, my children wouldn't be able to read my dutch blog which I started on the 17th July 2012. Writing, or blogging to be exact, kept me sharp in both languages. Being bi-lingual does mean one has to use both languages to practice the grammer. It is important to me that I keep up my English to be able to communicate with ease with my children, grandchildren and other family and friends. My native tongue, Dutch, is part of who I am, so being more than just capable of expressing myself is also imperative. It keep the cogs spinning.

As I said, one is never too old to learn.

My status as 'oma' provided another soapbox. Since 2015 I also write bi-lingually, about my life as oma. It keeps me on my toes, separates the topics I write about and also explains the reason why my annual contributions to each blog is limited. If I was to add them up, I'd be quite surprised. I don't write for the numbers, but to jot down events, thoughts and opinions that roam in my head. Some manage to end up being processed on my keyboard.

Juggling writing session in my daily and weekly schedule is a challenge- one is never too old to learn.

So I felt ready for another challenge. I've always loved photography on a amateur level. My computer groans under the weight of shots- many which are 'delete-able' and it's a job I've started tackling because I need to make space for my next learning curve.

In February last year ( 2018) I posted my first video on YouTube. Oooooh, was a nerve racking thing that was too. But I persevered and have learnt heaps since that day. Another challenge, another growth spurt and at 65+ glad I am able to challenge my grey matter into a new way of thinking. Not only am I able to express myself in word- I can now leave behind something more adventurous for my children and grandchildren. I'm still discovering new things, scared to try some others, apprehensive about tackling big projects- and enjoying the comments, images and adventures I've now committed visually to 'film' and embarked on this new adventure.


It is 2019 - I recall the moment our calendar changed from 1999 to 2000. It seems like only months ago. Life is 'Like an Hour Glass' with the sands of time spilling away so quickly. I want to make sure I fill the time I have with discovering new challenges and precious experiences.

One is never too old to learn. My opa used to say, "when my time is up I'll be able to sleep for as long as I like, for now, I'll keep busy doing whatever I can".

Great outlook, it obviously made an impression on me, as I was only very young when he died. I too will 'soldier on' and hopefully be inspired to keep challenging myself and continue to believe- one is never too old to learn.

Changes can be eye openers!

World wide fuel prices are being affected. Gas, power, coal. The snowball effect is that food prices have risen. Cost of living rose along with it.  Wages haven't. Post pandemic the world seems to have fallen into a slump even though the dramatic death tolls have ceased, yes people still die, they always did and always will. Name any illness and some will not survive it. Wars keep raging, dissatisfaction reigns as does greed and animosity. Where is all this coming from? Or has it never been away since Adam and Eve and their curiosity for wanting more?

Today I wanted to write something cheery, then I saw the news about Poland being struck by a 'stray' missile? Was it Russia, was it the Ukraine? Was it a provoking action? Or a genuine 'wrong co-ordinates' from a stressed young soldier? Sigh....deep breath!

I am led to believe the fuel price situation is because of the war between Russia and the Ukraine. I am led to believe the shortage of staff in all sectors of society is due to the pandemic. 

And then there is the climate issue. Farmers appear to be the biggest target in many countries, including clean green New Zealand. 

Back to the pollution: Cows emit gas. Just look around you. Cars emit fumes, chimneys smoke. Factories pollute the air with their waste burn off. Not to mention lighting pollution at night- buildings are like Christmas trees with every light imaginable burning for no reason except that they can. Maybe I should care less?

I can't fix wars, I can't change the fuel and price crisis. In fact I can't fix any of the issues above - though I do have a responsibility as a human being to do whatever I can to promote and uphold human dignity, respect, love and compassion. I just wonder how to do this effectively. 

So I look for ways I can contribute to a better world. I avoid conflict by trying to be accepting, a peacemaker where possible and avoid conflicting situations. Offer a listening ear, a shoulder and smile and hug.

Pollution takes many forms. Yes I just flew half way across the world. To see my children and grandchildren. Until someone can "Beam me up Scotty" I'll continue to fly - so I need to take counter actions. How? By using my bike rather than car, by walking more, by cooking efficiently saving power. Recycling. Every little bit helps. We eat little meat, occasional fish and regularly vegetarian. A varied diet is healthier than a fad diet. Wearing thermal wear inside to save putting the heating up high. Walking a healthy circuit daily to keep my body in shape warding off illness needing medical care. There are so many ways one can make a difference, to one's circumstance both health wise and financially.

I read an article a few days ago in which people were interviewed how they are coping with increases in food and fuel prices. How they are managing to re-assess necessities against extras. The thing I noticed was people were choosing to go without or reducing their spending not on essentials but on extras.. Less monthly magazines ( most are online these days anyway - saves paper)! Going out for dinner less often. Opting for one car ownership instead of two. Reducing extra channels on tv. I got the feeling people with more financial means had been interviewed. Life is hard for those barely making ends meet. Where are their stories?

Maybe there is a family in your (my) street who could use a free meal every week. Cook something for that family- make contact, care, share! One way of making this world more habitable and caring is to reach out to our neighbor. Especially the ones we haven't met yet. 

Anyway, I just thought I'd get this off my chest, reset my caring clock and be more aware of how I can make a difference. Onward and upward to a more beautiful world.

Be good.       Be kind.         Keep smiling.

Being right can sometimes be wrong!

 

Ethics are the standard of what is right and wrong, and they are based on our values. Being ethical requires making a moral judgment, and that's not always easy. Ethical behavior takes courage and has to be practiced.

A heavy subject today- somehow I needed to get it 'Out of my head'

I don't know who wrote that. Found this highly philosophical statement while looking up the rights and wrongs, or some sort of analyses about this phenomena we humans seem to struggle with.

Who is right and who is wrong? Why do we always want to have a clear cut answer? Do we, as individuals, aways need assurance that whatever our stance in any controversy, is your or my right better than that of the other person?

Political parties have this down off pat. That's why I think we have such a missmash of ideals, failed proposals and half developed laws and new legislation, which when the other party takes over the reins after an election, overturns some of these newly set out plans because they are deemed: Wrong for 'our people/country'. And we will never know how right or wrong the decisions would have been.

Bring it a bit closer to home: A difference of opinion about the alterations planned for a home. A couple, knowing they are going to have to spend a large amount of money on their investment struggle to come to a compromise about the color scheme outside. Something that will impact both of them every time they arrive at the home. Being confronted all the time with something you just, not even like, but are strongly against. Instead of looking at an alternative, they struggle and argue, inflicting pain on each other in their relationship, just because they both can't let go of their 'I'm right that will look awful and spoil the look of our home". I say ditch both those colors and go for something new.

Or any other personal conflict for that matter. I've heard a friend say that her husband accuses her of always wanting to be right! Accuses, mind you! Hello. How about thinking there may be another way of looking at an issue? How about respect for someone's opinion, vision and look on life without it having to be right or wrong?

I have noticed, maybe it was always so, but since the pandemic hit our world, there is a lot of "I'm right- you are wrong" issues. And on a larger scale, the wars that rage are about being 'right' by both parties. Each an onslaught, attack, infringement of rights ( there's that word again) in the sense of personal safety and wellbeing.

I'm not right - and I am not wrong, I have shaped ideals, visions, opinions during my lifetime which undergo, and continue to do so, changes as time, experiences and new insights occur.  So maybe next year when I go back and read this, I may totally disagree with myself: Well, to stay in the vain of the writing- I may just say to myself, " that's one way of looking at it".

Be good.          Be kind.          Keep smiling.

I do have lighter moments: 

Check out my YouTube channel for lighthearted entertainment and travel experiences.

Time flies when having fun

 

 And that is sometimes easier said than done.

On the 1st of September 2022 I flew from Schiphol, Amsterdam to Auckland Airport Aotearoa/New Zealand via Dubai. I would have loved to have had the opportunity to browse through that airport but unfortunately due to heavy fog I was somewhat pushed for time to catch my transfer flight. Maybe on the way back in December. Who knows!

Since my arrival there has been so much happening I know I can honestly say I used every moment - to its potential. Like today.

Raglan, on the west coast out of Hamilton about 40+km. That sounds relatively close. The road however winds, twist, rises and falls over the countryside that 'plain sailing' is everything but. Stunning views too by the way. This was another of those moments in time I wished I had a dashboard camera or equivalent. I stopped on a few safe places along side the road to try and capture just a wee glimpse of the green New Zealand framing province, the Waikato. The most breathtaking views however kept showing themselves on sharp bends, deep inclines or at 'no parking here possible' moments. I have etched those visuals in my memory for keep sake. The ones I did capture will find their way to my YouTube channel eventually. I am still in the throws of completing the French Road trip episodes. New Zealand will have to wait.

Back to making the most of today. Annually there is an Art Weekend in Raglan. I say annually but that may happen more often for all I know. Initials R.A.W. So if you see that advertised if you are living in New Zealand- that's the Art weekend in Raglan. Combine that with a picnic or surf moment and you've got the perfect weekend.

On Facebook I follow a London born New Zealand lady called Toni Kingstone. Her art is, well for my taste anyway, fantastic. Here the link to her FB page: Toni Kingstone  in case you want to check her talent out. Having seen the announcement of the R. A. W. during New Zealand's Labour weekend ( Monday off) I planned to go and see the work for myself. A golden opportunity. The bonus was the drive there and back and the awesome blue sky. Oh and lunch, hot chips and a sausage roll, sitting in the grass overlooking the bay. The hard part was choosing which piece I wanted to purchase. Would it fit in my suitcase and why oh why did I like more than one piece?

My time in the temporary gallery which was set up in a motel, was very pleasant. When I introduced myself to Toni ( yes I also have a daughter named Toni) she expressed a delight to meet me. Our only contact having been online on her FB page. The space was set up very inviting to look around. The availability of a toilet was a pleasant extra, as was the tray with glasses and water jug. I felt extremely privileged as Toni, her husband and son who were all part of the sales team, made me very welcome indeed. What more could a woman on the road want?

While chatting with Toni I noticed people wandering in and out. I also noticed some empty spaces and some items with red stickers. Toni's work was definitely a draw card, as were the metal artifacts on display made by her husband. What a creative couple. I wondered around looking closely at all that was on offer. I filmed a bit. Thought that might be useful at a later stage. Two, wel more actually, but one has to narrow things down from a practical aspect, two pieces really caught my eye. I liked them both. 

😂  DA I L   -    E M MA!  😂

I didn't know what to do. Both wasn't an option. Practically, I have to take this with me when I fly back to Schiphol Airport. Is my suitcase up to the challenge? Or more urgently: Are the baggage handlers up to it? Or will I take it as hand luggage?

Emma wasn't available so I guess the choice would have to be mine. I did consult two V I P's in my life but that didn't help at all. The advice I did take was to go for a walk, have some lunch and come back - then head for the one that attracts most. 

S I G H

Yes, I made my choice. I am thrilled in fact. No I am not going to post a picture..then it won't be a surprise when I get to install it in my Woman Cave. Check the room out in this video.

Woman Cave.

Not only was this a lovely meeting I also gained a couple more fans for my YouTube channel. Isn't it wonderful when people enjoy that which one does with so much pleasure? So, my day was a really happy one. Hopefully yours was too. Onward and upward to tomorrow.

Be good.       Be kind.       Keep smiling.

What an interesting conversation

 

Yesterday I had a most interesting conversation with a friend I hadn't been able to visit for 3-1/2 years due to the travel restrictions in place caused by the health issues the world grappled with over recent years.

I felt this gif image was most appropriate considering the contents of the conversation. It left me wondering and neither one of us came to any real conclusion.

I have two home countries. I have lived half my life in New Zealand and half in the country of birth, the Netherlands. Due to the length of time in both countries I have made life long friends on both continents. I treasure their presence in my life and appreciate each one in their own right. Some of these friends are like me, have two home countries. And the conversation yesterday was with a Dutch friend who now lives in New Zealand permanently and has recently also had a reunion with family 'back home'. Our conversation, after pleasantries re-acquainting ourselves after a long period, turned to the differences we noticed in each country in our absence.

My friend who had spent 10 weeks in the Netherlands had not been back for 8+years. I on the other had had been to New Zealand 3-1/2 years ago so the time difference was less for me than for her.

We decided on the 'What if" scenario. What if she was to return to the Netherlands in her retirement.

What if: I was to return to New Zealand for my retirement. 

We balanced the pros and cons, the care for the elderly, housing, political themes and general well being and public consensus. It would be nice to be able to say - we are both very satisfied with our situation. The issue of where and why is ever present. The thing is, it's the family ties and heritage that keeps bringing unsettled 'weather' into our well being you might say.

I am now staying with my family, my son and his partner and children. I also have a daughter in the same city and son in Australia with his family.

My friend has all her siblings 'back home'. Her life long friends and co-workers, cousins, aunts etc etc.

Now we aren't dissatisfied with our lives. We are healthy, content and are in a position to visit at reasonable time frames between visits. For now. Both retired, both used to the long haul it takes to get to 'the other side' of the globe. The check list of 'where better' is incomplete. It will more than likely always stay that way. I really enjoyed ( yes I did) the delving into the whys, whats and wherefores. Counting our blessings as we went.

So I'll finish with this quote which I found quite interesting. Thanks for reading and spending time with me on my blog.

   

 Virginia Satir (26 June 1916 – 10 September 1988) was an American author and psychotherapist, recognized for her approach to family therapy.

If you want to know what I get up to living in the Netherlands- join me on YouTube. 

My channel is called OmaFarAway.

Be good.        Be Kind.          Keep smiling

Another time- another place

 Time doesn't stand still - we do!

If you've been following my blogs you'll know I am in New Zealand at present visiting my family. Like 1000s of others the pandemic situation in the world is slowly allowing more freedom ( but with caution) and families are re-uniting world wide as I type.

I left New Zealand mid 2000 and have visited here on average every 15 months. Sometimes the gap was less, sometimes a wee bit more but never as long as this last period.

Because I came back at regular intervals it was easy to pick up where I left off, some people actually not realizing I'd been, gone and back again.

It was also handy as I would see with my own eyes the changes around towns and places I'd visit. Road works, housing appearing, shops changing hands. Not only that. I would also be more in tune where my grandchildren were at in their development. Having been away almost 3+1/2 years ( May 2019) has certainly affected my feeling of connection, of  being 'in the loop' with the changes. I have stood still while time just kept on ticking.

Now I am not that naive to think everything would still be how I left it. That the children have grown, some into young adults, is a normal and natural progression. Still what did change was the connection I had with them. The very young ones didn't have a treasure chest filled with lots of memories, as some were too young to recall some of our escapades and fun moments. Others have moved on - to almost university level schooling so are  busy with study, friends and sports. And that is a good thing - it just does have bearing on the relationships. Some have more time now to spend with me, their oma, and others don't. So a shift in focus and activities is order of the day. Re-acquainting ourselves with each personality, personal like and activity and finding out what is important in their lives which wasn't relevant before. All the while trying to be the oma befitting each child. A challenge and a wonderful one at that. All things being equal I won't have another LONG break from my family in the future. Eventually I know the visits will cease. I am not the youngest anymore and eventually the length of the trip will be too much of a challenge so I will make the most of every opportunity I get ( make happen) to be part of the families' lives as often as possible.

The country too has changed. Not just the addition or should I say improvement on the roads. New motorways connecting cities. Huge shopping complexes to cope with the increase in size of the cities and modernization in many parts of the inner city to keep up with the ever changing world. Globally of course awareness for our planet plays a role here too. The pace of life in New Zealand is faster now than when I left. It almost matches that of the place I now call home in the Netherlands. No it's not Amsterdam, but the volume traffic, high rise buildings and housing projects, it would seem New Zealand is swelling in population faster than I imagined it would. What did astound me, was this beautiful green and vast country isn't making use of the area but cramming as many home units on a small piece of land. Family home sized sections seem to be a thing of the past. Cramming 4 homes where there was once one home seems illogical to me. Why is 'spreading out' not the norm? Why push people onto each other's boundaries when we know and have known for many years, that space, individuality and privacy are a necessary component of well being. That's what attracted my father and many immigrants in the first place. New Zealand's open spaces. There is plenty of land.... it is just not being used to live on.

Anyway, that were some of the noticeable things that changed in the interim while I wasn't able to visit.

NOW is here and HERE to enjoy. And hopefully I'll be staying more often again in the future.

Be good.    -     Be kind      -     Keep smiling

Loving every moment

 

Life is good to me - and mine. 

Arriving almost on the eve of the birth of my newest grandchild was such a gift. No-one could have predicted this outcome. When planning my trip I did heed a few highlights, the possible birth ( either just before on or after my arrival) this could go any which way. My son's 40th birthday and other birthdays in this period.

I wasn't prepared for everything to happen at once so it sure did send some emotional rollercoasters in action.

My dear friend Annette picked me up from Auckland Airport and drove us to a motel so I could have a shower and a good night's sleep after that mega flight from Amsterdam to Auckland. After a leisurely start and a minimal breakfast we traveled the highway to Hamilton, arriving at my son's home just as they returned from a swimming moment in the city pools. It was Father's Day Sunday. My daughter in law looking radiant and still very pregnant. 

The next few days I kept a low profile re-adjusting my body clock. Well, that was the plan. Monday evening around 8 pm saw those plans fade away as baby decided maybe it was time to make its entrance. The wee darling didn't drag out the process too long at all and just after midnight on the Tuesday around 1 am my grandson was born - on his dad's 40th birthday. Double joy.

The night was a disrupted but happy one and the early morning hours brought even more joy! Unknown to me, my son in Australia and his wife had flown in to Auckland that Monday late afternoon. So just imagine my surprise and disbelief when I saw him drive up the driveway while FaceTiming with my new grandson for the first time? I was an emotional wreck. A joyful one at that!

Things have settled down since then. Life is great. I am that wee pic up above and loving every minute of it. How blessed am I that I am able to be the support this busy household needs right now. A young family of 7 ( 8 with me included) Happily their dining table is large enough for all.

The first 3 weeks of my time here have just melted away into oblivion, leaving wonderful memories. With spring slowly taking hold and baby settling, mother gaining strength the next few weeks will just add to the wonderful experiences that lay ahead.

Thankful, that's what I am: THANKFUL

Be good      -          Be kind        -     Keep smiling 

Life - and it's gifts

Life is a gift - unwrap it - use your undiscovered talents 

You only get one stab at life

Be generous

Be loving

Be considerate

Be all you can be

Two weeks ago I was privileged to hold a newborn grandson in my arms. A few hours old. What a joy. What a blessing. He will be sharing the love of his parents with 4 siblings, two girls ( the eldest of the 5) and 2 boys. No doubt the parents will be faced with  challenges they hadn't envisaged - on the other side of that same coin they will experience great joys too.

For the second time in my 'oma period' I have been present when one of the grandchildren arrived. As an OmaFarAway, it isn't always possible to be on the spot when such life changing events take place. I do get the feeling though that this wonder of life is the Full-stop in the family cycle. All three families now being complete. 

I am truly blessed and realise quite realistically that this is a unique position to be in. My children and grandchildren are healthy, happy, thriving individuals ( from 22y to 2 weeks) making their way in their world at their own pace and with their own uniqueness, encouraged and nurtured by their parents.

This is really all I wanted to say really. No great philosophical or debatable discussion. Just stating my joyous event- the birth of another grandchild. 

Be good.     -     Be kind.      -      Keep smiling

It's all about WHAT IFs!

"Nothing to fear but fear itself".
Franklin D Rooseveld in his inaugural speech in 1933

Even I say that to friends when they entrust me with a fear, an insecurity or when faced with an unpleasant event. Why worry about something that is a figment of one's imagination, a reality only existing in one's mind?

The self imagined outcome of something over which one has no control. I recall that in my study period. Handing in an assignment. Already visualizing the perceived reaction from the lecturer or teacher. What if?

The recent years during COVID we have had many instances I am sure where WHAT IF scenarios played  a huge role in our state of mind.

WHAT IF: I get COVID and become ill?

WHAT IF: I am that ill I need to go to hospital?

WHAT IF: My mum, dad, brother sister, husband wife.....?

WHAT IF: I loose my job?

and I could go on and on, can't sell/buy a house, I don't get that job, mortgage, car!

My WHAT IF was: What if I can't get to see my children and grandchildren? What if travel becomes so expensive I can't afford the fare? What if the restrictions aren't removed? What if they become ill? I become ill? What if I don't get my papers uploaded onto the form? What if my QR code won't scan? What if I missed my flight, my connection, loose my luggage?

These What If's were a battle. I did manage to conquer many but must also admit to have to battle a few with more energy than I thought was needed. I think of myself as a positive-realist and normally can handle and deal with a WHAT IF moment quite rapidly. I think this time, because it touched and affected the most important people in my life, I didn't have the grip on each situation as I would have liked.

I can now say: All my fears were valid but not worth the energy I put into them. My WHAT IFs were ticked off one by one as I dealt with each issue.

I booked my flight - shocked at the price but could pay for it 👍

I got the paperwork sorted successfully without any of the feared hitches.

My flight was long, tiring and at times stressy- but I arrived on time.

My initial test after arrival was negative ( which was one thing I wasn't worried about) I just haven't ever had to undergo a test. So that's a first.

I haven't been ill. Nor has any of those I listed above.

I had a harrowing moment fearing I may miss my connecting flight- BUT didn't.

My suitcase and I left the airport together.

So now, a stress free visit to my family and friends is off to a good start. I aim to keep it that way.

Be good.     Be kind.     Keep smiling

Arms to hug and hold me.

 May 2019 - my last hug and glimpse of my dearest darling children en grandchildren.

2020: My trip on hold: Who would have thought the world would change so dramatically in such a short space in time.

2022: Finally:  Arms to hold me, hugs to give

I've lived back  in the country of my birth from 1 July 2000. In that time I have flown back to my second home,  to Aotearoa/ New Zealand and Australia on average every 15 months, till 2019 that is.  My planned trip for the end of 2020 was put on hold. Not only because of Corona but also due to the restricted access one had to a much desired entry ticket to get into Aotearoa/New Zealand. The government had closed its doors to keep its people safe and operated a sort of lucky dip for those needing/wanting to go home. I didn't participate. Left the space I might take up for those with even more pressing needs. This doesn't make me a saint, just felt uncomfortable in case I got 'lucky' and someone needing to be with their dying parent, wedding or birth event lost out. And I've not even mentioned to huge costs of the quarantine hotels.

The virus hasn't gone but the immediate danger, the heaviness of the pandemic has subsided. Yes, one can still become very ill. Some may even not survive but most will. Thankful for the vaccination available is all I can say. After purchasing my ticket, which due to the fuel costs and other related reasons why had risen dramatically,  and applying for my Traveler's Declaration now required before entry I am now able to fly to hug and hold once again. I have NEVER been away from my children for this length of time. It was hard. Emotionally I coped, only just, having the support of many around me who helpen me through dark periods. I am so grateful for these support groups. Reading about more pressing and devastatingly sad cases I felt guilty at times about my own misery. Grateful too was I that there were no serious issues why I might have felt the pressing desire and need to be with my children. Great disasters were spared us. Many were not that fortunate.

So, looking forward and with renewed joy in my heart I am preparing to venture across the miles, different rules, new airport as I am taking an airline new to me. I believe masks will be required all the way: all 24-26 hours roughly which it will take to reach my destination. That'll be a challenge. At the end of that: 

arms which will embrace me. And that's the moment I yearn for. 

Be good - be kind - keep smiling.

What are you thinking?

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus: 26 April 121 – 17 March 180 was Roman emperor 

from 161 to 180 and a Stoic philosopher.

This made me ponder on the topic. Am I master ( mistress) of my own destination or are things pre-ordained? Or is it a bit of both?

One of the more frequent statements I hear around me is, " Have you noticed how short fused people are these days?" It is August 2022. We are trying to haul the world out of a pandemic. Some say we already have left that behind us, while others maintain a strict lifestyle being guarded and insecure in their actions limiting movement and one could say, the joys of life. Of course there are also those who have denied the whole pandemic as a myth, and those who have adapted and learnt to be aware, to chance to a new normal, a safe, healthy lifestyle. Getting on with life as best they see fit. Doing what feels comfortable and safe. 

Perception of the situation at hand and acting according to one's nature and self-reliance?

I am occasionally inclined to think that the pandemic isn't only about a virus, becoming ill and the most dreadful of consequence could be death, but that it doesn't 'just' affect our physical state of being but also infects our psychological state. The recovery results are varied. Well, that's the thought in my mind at present. This is as a result of what I experience of the changes in society in general.

I notice little of the relief that the reduction in the wave of destruction COVID brought has ebbed. I do notice short fused, irritated and impatient people quick to complain about trivial ( or more impacting) situations. The pandemic has not only made many physically ill, the brain too has been affected. Is that a panic reaction?  I hear sounds in the conversations that people feel they are 'owed' freedom now the dangers have ( relatively) passed. That the governments concerned 'robbed' them of freedom while not acknowledging that even for them this was un-chartered waters and needed to take a stand to keep the populations safe if that was at all possible. 

                           Perception of the situation at hand and acting according to one's insecurity?

Short staffed in many areas ( not just here in the Netherlands but world wide) has seen some disturbing fracas taking place. Heated discussions and even violence well above proportion for the 'complaint' one might say. Greed is another trait I've seen on the rise. This too in the recent crime figures, the new ways to undo one of personal belongings including money. Elderly often but not solely, being targets of villainous actions. Going door to door to 'check' the corona vaccination pasport and thereby gaining access to homes. Or pretending to be from the health department checking if the ventilation in the home is working properly, to name a few tricks I read in the paper about. Sad and deplorable. working from home and people being limited in moving about freely changed the face of the criminal's actions. Even they have adapted their modus operandi. Once the working at home rule was relaxed, home invasion thefts was once again on the rise. 

                             Perception of the situation at hand and acting according to one's lack of morals?

Standing in the queue waiting to be served, at the airport, train and someone finally 'snapping' and lashing out at personal who are working their butts off coping with less colleagues to get the job done. Businesses understaffed causing problems in all kinds of sectors. Where have all these people gone? Some who had severe COVID are sick at home still, suffering long term damage, some have changed jobs. With cafes and restaurants having been closed for long periods staff have moved on and many not returning. With shops closed Online sales boomed and more delivery staff was needed...and so the list goes on. Our world has changed in the way we do things. In the way we expect things to happen. I get the feeling that our thinking hasn't changed at the same speed. We expect the order of things to remain the same or at least return to something recognizable.

So how does the above quote figure in this writing?

The pandemic is nobody's fault. It has happened like in all times of disaster and unknown situations, the feeling of despair and fear seems to bring out other personal reactions one might expect or even suspect. Think of how people may have reacted in centuries gone by. Look at the times of citizen unrest and the looting that happens! The discovery of AIDS, the black plague, cholera to name a few. 

Yet we humans survive the onslaught and pick up the pieces. Each in our own way. We make our own (un)happiness by the decisions we make, the thoughts we nurture, the fears we dread and the insights we may or may not have gained.

Marcus may not have been far wrong in his statement. It sure set me thinking. Thanks for taking the time to read my ramble.

Be good - Be kind - Keep smiling