Being right can sometimes be wrong!

 

Ethics are the standard of what is right and wrong, and they are based on our values. Being ethical requires making a moral judgment, and that's not always easy. Ethical behavior takes courage and has to be practiced.

A heavy subject today- somehow I needed to get it 'Out of my head'

I don't know who wrote that. Found this highly philosophical statement while looking up the rights and wrongs, or some sort of analyses about this phenomena we humans seem to struggle with.

Who is right and who is wrong? Why do we always want to have a clear cut answer? Do we, as individuals, aways need assurance that whatever our stance in any controversy, is your or my right better than that of the other person?

Political parties have this down off pat. That's why I think we have such a missmash of ideals, failed proposals and half developed laws and new legislation, which when the other party takes over the reins after an election, overturns some of these newly set out plans because they are deemed: Wrong for 'our people/country'. And we will never know how right or wrong the decisions would have been.

Bring it a bit closer to home: A difference of opinion about the alterations planned for a home. A couple, knowing they are going to have to spend a large amount of money on their investment struggle to come to a compromise about the color scheme outside. Something that will impact both of them every time they arrive at the home. Being confronted all the time with something you just, not even like, but are strongly against. Instead of looking at an alternative, they struggle and argue, inflicting pain on each other in their relationship, just because they both can't let go of their 'I'm right that will look awful and spoil the look of our home". I say ditch both those colors and go for something new.

Or any other personal conflict for that matter. I've heard a friend say that her husband accuses her of always wanting to be right! Accuses, mind you! Hello. How about thinking there may be another way of looking at an issue? How about respect for someone's opinion, vision and look on life without it having to be right or wrong?

I have noticed, maybe it was always so, but since the pandemic hit our world, there is a lot of "I'm right- you are wrong" issues. And on a larger scale, the wars that rage are about being 'right' by both parties. Each an onslaught, attack, infringement of rights ( there's that word again) in the sense of personal safety and wellbeing.

I'm not right - and I am not wrong, I have shaped ideals, visions, opinions during my lifetime which undergo, and continue to do so, changes as time, experiences and new insights occur.  So maybe next year when I go back and read this, I may totally disagree with myself: Well, to stay in the vain of the writing- I may just say to myself, " that's one way of looking at it".

Be good.          Be kind.          Keep smiling.

I do have lighter moments: 

Check out my YouTube channel for lighthearted entertainment and travel experiences.

Time flies when having fun

 

 And that is sometimes easier said than done.

On the 1st of September 2022 I flew from Schiphol, Amsterdam to Auckland Airport Aotearoa/New Zealand via Dubai. I would have loved to have had the opportunity to browse through that airport but unfortunately due to heavy fog I was somewhat pushed for time to catch my transfer flight. Maybe on the way back in December. Who knows!

Since my arrival there has been so much happening I know I can honestly say I used every moment - to its potential. Like today.

Raglan, on the west coast out of Hamilton about 40+km. That sounds relatively close. The road however winds, twist, rises and falls over the countryside that 'plain sailing' is everything but. Stunning views too by the way. This was another of those moments in time I wished I had a dashboard camera or equivalent. I stopped on a few safe places along side the road to try and capture just a wee glimpse of the green New Zealand framing province, the Waikato. The most breathtaking views however kept showing themselves on sharp bends, deep inclines or at 'no parking here possible' moments. I have etched those visuals in my memory for keep sake. The ones I did capture will find their way to my YouTube channel eventually. I am still in the throws of completing the French Road trip episodes. New Zealand will have to wait.

Back to making the most of today. Annually there is an Art Weekend in Raglan. I say annually but that may happen more often for all I know. Initials R.A.W. So if you see that advertised if you are living in New Zealand- that's the Art weekend in Raglan. Combine that with a picnic or surf moment and you've got the perfect weekend.

On Facebook I follow a London born New Zealand lady called Toni Kingstone. Her art is, well for my taste anyway, fantastic. Here the link to her FB page: Toni Kingstone  in case you want to check her talent out. Having seen the announcement of the R. A. W. during New Zealand's Labour weekend ( Monday off) I planned to go and see the work for myself. A golden opportunity. The bonus was the drive there and back and the awesome blue sky. Oh and lunch, hot chips and a sausage roll, sitting in the grass overlooking the bay. The hard part was choosing which piece I wanted to purchase. Would it fit in my suitcase and why oh why did I like more than one piece?

My time in the temporary gallery which was set up in a motel, was very pleasant. When I introduced myself to Toni ( yes I also have a daughter named Toni) she expressed a delight to meet me. Our only contact having been online on her FB page. The space was set up very inviting to look around. The availability of a toilet was a pleasant extra, as was the tray with glasses and water jug. I felt extremely privileged as Toni, her husband and son who were all part of the sales team, made me very welcome indeed. What more could a woman on the road want?

While chatting with Toni I noticed people wandering in and out. I also noticed some empty spaces and some items with red stickers. Toni's work was definitely a draw card, as were the metal artifacts on display made by her husband. What a creative couple. I wondered around looking closely at all that was on offer. I filmed a bit. Thought that might be useful at a later stage. Two, wel more actually, but one has to narrow things down from a practical aspect, two pieces really caught my eye. I liked them both. 

😂  DA I L   -    E M MA!  😂

I didn't know what to do. Both wasn't an option. Practically, I have to take this with me when I fly back to Schiphol Airport. Is my suitcase up to the challenge? Or more urgently: Are the baggage handlers up to it? Or will I take it as hand luggage?

Emma wasn't available so I guess the choice would have to be mine. I did consult two V I P's in my life but that didn't help at all. The advice I did take was to go for a walk, have some lunch and come back - then head for the one that attracts most. 

S I G H

Yes, I made my choice. I am thrilled in fact. No I am not going to post a picture..then it won't be a surprise when I get to install it in my Woman Cave. Check the room out in this video.

Woman Cave.

Not only was this a lovely meeting I also gained a couple more fans for my YouTube channel. Isn't it wonderful when people enjoy that which one does with so much pleasure? So, my day was a really happy one. Hopefully yours was too. Onward and upward to tomorrow.

Be good.       Be kind.       Keep smiling.

What an interesting conversation

 

Yesterday I had a most interesting conversation with a friend I hadn't been able to visit for 3-1/2 years due to the travel restrictions in place caused by the health issues the world grappled with over recent years.

I felt this gif image was most appropriate considering the contents of the conversation. It left me wondering and neither one of us came to any real conclusion.

I have two home countries. I have lived half my life in New Zealand and half in the country of birth, the Netherlands. Due to the length of time in both countries I have made life long friends on both continents. I treasure their presence in my life and appreciate each one in their own right. Some of these friends are like me, have two home countries. And the conversation yesterday was with a Dutch friend who now lives in New Zealand permanently and has recently also had a reunion with family 'back home'. Our conversation, after pleasantries re-acquainting ourselves after a long period, turned to the differences we noticed in each country in our absence.

My friend who had spent 10 weeks in the Netherlands had not been back for 8+years. I on the other had had been to New Zealand 3-1/2 years ago so the time difference was less for me than for her.

We decided on the 'What if" scenario. What if she was to return to the Netherlands in her retirement.

What if: I was to return to New Zealand for my retirement. 

We balanced the pros and cons, the care for the elderly, housing, political themes and general well being and public consensus. It would be nice to be able to say - we are both very satisfied with our situation. The issue of where and why is ever present. The thing is, it's the family ties and heritage that keeps bringing unsettled 'weather' into our well being you might say.

I am now staying with my family, my son and his partner and children. I also have a daughter in the same city and son in Australia with his family.

My friend has all her siblings 'back home'. Her life long friends and co-workers, cousins, aunts etc etc.

Now we aren't dissatisfied with our lives. We are healthy, content and are in a position to visit at reasonable time frames between visits. For now. Both retired, both used to the long haul it takes to get to 'the other side' of the globe. The check list of 'where better' is incomplete. It will more than likely always stay that way. I really enjoyed ( yes I did) the delving into the whys, whats and wherefores. Counting our blessings as we went.

So I'll finish with this quote which I found quite interesting. Thanks for reading and spending time with me on my blog.

   

 Virginia Satir (26 June 1916 – 10 September 1988) was an American author and psychotherapist, recognized for her approach to family therapy.

If you want to know what I get up to living in the Netherlands- join me on YouTube. 

My channel is called OmaFarAway.

Be good.        Be Kind.          Keep smiling

Another time- another place

 Time doesn't stand still - we do!

If you've been following my blogs you'll know I am in New Zealand at present visiting my family. Like 1000s of others the pandemic situation in the world is slowly allowing more freedom ( but with caution) and families are re-uniting world wide as I type.

I left New Zealand mid 2000 and have visited here on average every 15 months. Sometimes the gap was less, sometimes a wee bit more but never as long as this last period.

Because I came back at regular intervals it was easy to pick up where I left off, some people actually not realizing I'd been, gone and back again.

It was also handy as I would see with my own eyes the changes around towns and places I'd visit. Road works, housing appearing, shops changing hands. Not only that. I would also be more in tune where my grandchildren were at in their development. Having been away almost 3+1/2 years ( May 2019) has certainly affected my feeling of connection, of  being 'in the loop' with the changes. I have stood still while time just kept on ticking.

Now I am not that naive to think everything would still be how I left it. That the children have grown, some into young adults, is a normal and natural progression. Still what did change was the connection I had with them. The very young ones didn't have a treasure chest filled with lots of memories, as some were too young to recall some of our escapades and fun moments. Others have moved on - to almost university level schooling so are  busy with study, friends and sports. And that is a good thing - it just does have bearing on the relationships. Some have more time now to spend with me, their oma, and others don't. So a shift in focus and activities is order of the day. Re-acquainting ourselves with each personality, personal like and activity and finding out what is important in their lives which wasn't relevant before. All the while trying to be the oma befitting each child. A challenge and a wonderful one at that. All things being equal I won't have another LONG break from my family in the future. Eventually I know the visits will cease. I am not the youngest anymore and eventually the length of the trip will be too much of a challenge so I will make the most of every opportunity I get ( make happen) to be part of the families' lives as often as possible.

The country too has changed. Not just the addition or should I say improvement on the roads. New motorways connecting cities. Huge shopping complexes to cope with the increase in size of the cities and modernization in many parts of the inner city to keep up with the ever changing world. Globally of course awareness for our planet plays a role here too. The pace of life in New Zealand is faster now than when I left. It almost matches that of the place I now call home in the Netherlands. No it's not Amsterdam, but the volume traffic, high rise buildings and housing projects, it would seem New Zealand is swelling in population faster than I imagined it would. What did astound me, was this beautiful green and vast country isn't making use of the area but cramming as many home units on a small piece of land. Family home sized sections seem to be a thing of the past. Cramming 4 homes where there was once one home seems illogical to me. Why is 'spreading out' not the norm? Why push people onto each other's boundaries when we know and have known for many years, that space, individuality and privacy are a necessary component of well being. That's what attracted my father and many immigrants in the first place. New Zealand's open spaces. There is plenty of land.... it is just not being used to live on.

Anyway, that were some of the noticeable things that changed in the interim while I wasn't able to visit.

NOW is here and HERE to enjoy. And hopefully I'll be staying more often again in the future.

Be good.    -     Be kind      -     Keep smiling

Loving every moment

 

Life is good to me - and mine. 

Arriving almost on the eve of the birth of my newest grandchild was such a gift. No-one could have predicted this outcome. When planning my trip I did heed a few highlights, the possible birth ( either just before on or after my arrival) this could go any which way. My son's 40th birthday and other birthdays in this period.

I wasn't prepared for everything to happen at once so it sure did send some emotional rollercoasters in action.

My dear friend Annette picked me up from Auckland Airport and drove us to a motel so I could have a shower and a good night's sleep after that mega flight from Amsterdam to Auckland. After a leisurely start and a minimal breakfast we traveled the highway to Hamilton, arriving at my son's home just as they returned from a swimming moment in the city pools. It was Father's Day Sunday. My daughter in law looking radiant and still very pregnant. 

The next few days I kept a low profile re-adjusting my body clock. Well, that was the plan. Monday evening around 8 pm saw those plans fade away as baby decided maybe it was time to make its entrance. The wee darling didn't drag out the process too long at all and just after midnight on the Tuesday around 1 am my grandson was born - on his dad's 40th birthday. Double joy.

The night was a disrupted but happy one and the early morning hours brought even more joy! Unknown to me, my son in Australia and his wife had flown in to Auckland that Monday late afternoon. So just imagine my surprise and disbelief when I saw him drive up the driveway while FaceTiming with my new grandson for the first time? I was an emotional wreck. A joyful one at that!

Things have settled down since then. Life is great. I am that wee pic up above and loving every minute of it. How blessed am I that I am able to be the support this busy household needs right now. A young family of 7 ( 8 with me included) Happily their dining table is large enough for all.

The first 3 weeks of my time here have just melted away into oblivion, leaving wonderful memories. With spring slowly taking hold and baby settling, mother gaining strength the next few weeks will just add to the wonderful experiences that lay ahead.

Thankful, that's what I am: THANKFUL

Be good      -          Be kind        -     Keep smiling 

Life - and it's gifts

Life is a gift - unwrap it - use your undiscovered talents 

You only get one stab at life

Be generous

Be loving

Be considerate

Be all you can be

Two weeks ago I was privileged to hold a newborn grandson in my arms. A few hours old. What a joy. What a blessing. He will be sharing the love of his parents with 4 siblings, two girls ( the eldest of the 5) and 2 boys. No doubt the parents will be faced with  challenges they hadn't envisaged - on the other side of that same coin they will experience great joys too.

For the second time in my 'oma period' I have been present when one of the grandchildren arrived. As an OmaFarAway, it isn't always possible to be on the spot when such life changing events take place. I do get the feeling though that this wonder of life is the Full-stop in the family cycle. All three families now being complete. 

I am truly blessed and realise quite realistically that this is a unique position to be in. My children and grandchildren are healthy, happy, thriving individuals ( from 22y to 2 weeks) making their way in their world at their own pace and with their own uniqueness, encouraged and nurtured by their parents.

This is really all I wanted to say really. No great philosophical or debatable discussion. Just stating my joyous event- the birth of another grandchild. 

Be good.     -     Be kind.      -      Keep smiling

It's all about WHAT IFs!

"Nothing to fear but fear itself".
Franklin D Rooseveld in his inaugural speech in 1933

Even I say that to friends when they entrust me with a fear, an insecurity or when faced with an unpleasant event. Why worry about something that is a figment of one's imagination, a reality only existing in one's mind?

The self imagined outcome of something over which one has no control. I recall that in my study period. Handing in an assignment. Already visualizing the perceived reaction from the lecturer or teacher. What if?

The recent years during COVID we have had many instances I am sure where WHAT IF scenarios played  a huge role in our state of mind.

WHAT IF: I get COVID and become ill?

WHAT IF: I am that ill I need to go to hospital?

WHAT IF: My mum, dad, brother sister, husband wife.....?

WHAT IF: I loose my job?

and I could go on and on, can't sell/buy a house, I don't get that job, mortgage, car!

My WHAT IF was: What if I can't get to see my children and grandchildren? What if travel becomes so expensive I can't afford the fare? What if the restrictions aren't removed? What if they become ill? I become ill? What if I don't get my papers uploaded onto the form? What if my QR code won't scan? What if I missed my flight, my connection, loose my luggage?

These What If's were a battle. I did manage to conquer many but must also admit to have to battle a few with more energy than I thought was needed. I think of myself as a positive-realist and normally can handle and deal with a WHAT IF moment quite rapidly. I think this time, because it touched and affected the most important people in my life, I didn't have the grip on each situation as I would have liked.

I can now say: All my fears were valid but not worth the energy I put into them. My WHAT IFs were ticked off one by one as I dealt with each issue.

I booked my flight - shocked at the price but could pay for it 👍

I got the paperwork sorted successfully without any of the feared hitches.

My flight was long, tiring and at times stressy- but I arrived on time.

My initial test after arrival was negative ( which was one thing I wasn't worried about) I just haven't ever had to undergo a test. So that's a first.

I haven't been ill. Nor has any of those I listed above.

I had a harrowing moment fearing I may miss my connecting flight- BUT didn't.

My suitcase and I left the airport together.

So now, a stress free visit to my family and friends is off to a good start. I aim to keep it that way.

Be good.     Be kind.     Keep smiling