Writing helps clear my head

Welcome back! 

In my 60th year, I started writing, digitally known as blogging. I put my thoughts of ‘paper’ and posted them online for anyone to read. It helped clear my head too I might add. Thoughts have a tendency to lead a life of their own. Having captured them and placed them ‘outside’ my head I sometimes felt a great relief, other times proud of what I’d written and I also experienced moments of delight when reading the comments or even for myself, knowing what I wrote pleased and/ or amused me.

I branched out. Started writing in English and Dutch, instigated a cooking blog and an oma blog. Yep, I managed it all - till it became too much of a ‘have to’ instead of a want to. I also started a channel on YouTube in 2018 called OmaFArAway ( link below). The reason being the impending visit of my grandson Max from Australia. He was coming  to spend two months with me, his oma. What better way to document and share his experiences than with a visual record. I ran out of time. My blogs lay deserted and ignored. 

Then COVID hit the world and had us on our knees. I made an attempt to pick up writing again. Unfortunately, it stayed with the attempt. So here goes. A new start. A combination of blogs and vlogs. Not a separate series though. All in English and a mixed bag of kitchen ideas and thinking thoughts. I won’t remove the other blogs, ( the link to the biggest blog - A day in the life is also listed below) but the new lease of life will only be on the one blog- OmaFarAway shares stories. For those who find English bit difficult, transfer the text into Google translate! Although not perfect it will certainly give the gist of the contents with photos to support the story. I will also post links to relevant videos..or even all the video for that matter.

So bear with me, humour me and just like the YouTube channel, leave a message, comment, note letting me know you’ve been visiting. Much appreciated.

Be good - be kind - keep smiling!

A Day in the life: http://mythoughtsinadayinthelifeof.blogspot.com/

OmaFarAway video channel: 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt48t5MJBQnXZFDLptJwCyg

OmaFarAway video channel : Holiday with grandson playlist:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJwwv-q4OH0ljYjj0NKMVyvtZ-97nrXRg

An ode to my mum.

 Mum’s and their stories: This is mine about my mum

It is the 1st of May. Labour Day in some parts of the world. It is also the anniversary of my mother’s birth. She was born 99 years ago today in the Netherlands. It is Labour Day there too, just like here in France, where I am at the time of writing this story.

The sun is just warm enough to feel like a smooth caress on my skin. The breeze brushes over my arms and face, ensuring I don’t over heat. I do have to squint a little as I’m not wearing my sunhat. I left it at home. Silly me. I love that hat. I remember buying it as if it were yesterday. In Workum it was, in the Netherlands. To be really precise, it was in the province Fryslân and along the main street. The shop sold all sorts of holiday necessities. Fishing gear, gumboots, sun hats of all description and lots of bits and bobs tourists go for in wee places like this.

I was with Annette at the time. Annette and I were just playing tourist, well she was for real, being a kiwi holidaying abroad, and me, well I belong to the Frysian landscape. It’s in my blood. We were both just having a few days sightseeing in this part of the Netherlands before sailing across the water and heading into Wales. Two ‘besties’ needing a sunhat each during the summer of 2018. But I digress.

The 1st of May 1923. My mother was to be the last baby my grandmother would bear. The doctor was quite adamant about that. My mum was baby number 9 of which 7 saw adulthood. Four boys and three girls. From tales which I can recall was that mum had a worry free childhood. She became an aunt at 11 years of age. Her eldest sister married and started her family. They lived at walking distance and as the family additions arrived, mum was often engaged in helping out with nappies, washing and other tasks to help complete those mundane chores for the busy young mother.

War broke out. My mum was a teenager. Brothers went to war breaking my grandmother’s heart. Yes, they returned home, but not unscathed. The experiences they had coloured their lives. 

Mum’s scholing and subsequent career choice, she trained as a kindergarten teacher, was marred in many ways as a result of that war. 

Mum was very close to her 2 year older sister, Evelien ( Eef or Eefie to those who knew and loved her) and as young women they were often in each other’s company. 

Marriages happened.

My parents met in 1946, and married 6 weeks later. A whirl wind courtship, again as a result of war. Tongues did wag mum told me. Even then, and maybe especially then, people were suspicious and judgemental.

My dad was due to be sent out to Indonesia and he would be away 3+ years at best. As a married soldier, he earned more, and mum could stay living at home with her parents. A shortage of housing was also prevalent. Many married couples and the birth of children were events that took place in parental homes of either partner. In this case, my eldest brother, sister and I were born in my mum’s family home. 

Finally in 1953, my parents were allocated a home of their own. We moved to a ( then) wee place called Dieren in Gelderland. Dad was back at the railway and to help make ends meet, mum sewed plastic items. At home, for a company which utilised home workers. That was ideal for a family like ours with four children and a husband who worked shifts.

I recall it a fine time. Though there were the odd hiccups. After mum had my brother she needed some time out. Also there appeared to be an arthritic situation whereby mum received painful injections from the district nurse. I so remember having to ‘go play outside’ while mum was treated. Apparently the injections were extremely painful. Later she told me, she was scared of frightening us in case she yelled out in pain. Poor mum.

 I have always had the idea mum missed being closer to her family as a car in that time wasn’t even a thinkable possibility. So the bonus of dad working for the railway was a gift. We had free travel. And visit family we did. Aunts and uncles, grandparents. It was during those visits we children got to meet our cousins. 

A new prospect for a future arose. We were to immigrate to a country so far away it was hard to imagine how one would even get there. Reality also being, once there, there would be no going back. It was 1961. We all needed to learn to speak English, children and adults alike. We had to pack up, de-clutter and farewell all we knew and loved. My parents set us off on a great life changing journey. For my mum, the distance now being created between her and those she loved, must have been heartbreaking. How she kept up her spirits up is a mystery. It must have hurt lots. 

The new life was soon not that new. We fitted in. Mum went to work in a factory sewing bras, yes indeed. Dad spent 5 minutes with the NZ railway but that wasn’t a success so he changed jobs a few times before he found his feet. Then, lo and behold, another baby arrived. Mum was 43 at this stage. More drastic changes were afoot in 1966.

We arrived back in the Netherlands for an indefinite time. My baby brother needed health care. Mum left her eldest son behind on the wharf in Auckland. The parting wasn’t to be forever but we didn’t know that then. After a space of 5 years and many ups and downs, we returned to New Zealand in 1971. 

Dad died on 4th November 1999 and mum spent quite some time missing her husband of 53.5 years. She died in 2011, just after midnight on the 1st of January. Their ashes are both interred at the cemetery just outside Hamilton, New Zealand. 

As I am writing this, hearing birds chirping in the background, the breeze is less, the heat of the sun more felt, I am in awe of all my mum endured. I am sure she was happy - while the aches and sadness must have played a big part in her life too! I do know the immigration was dad’s dream and she helped him realise it. That it didn’t all go to plan I know dad’s philosophy was, “ that’s life”. And another one of his wisdoms was, Life, is another name for The school of hard knocks”! Yet he was a very optimistic person. What mum thought, she didn’t often say, but sometimes she’d nod and say, “just like dad says, that’s life”! 

Mum wasn’t spared joys or sorrows, health or sickness. Nor did she breeze through life’s challenges or avoid the struggles. Mum just faced, accepted and took on board all which came her way - in her own way. 

And me, I am back in the Netherlands. Somehow being in the country of  my parents and my birth is where I need to be. Yet I call New Zealand my home. 

Be good - be kind - keep smiling!

Link to: buying the hat

Gladys and Aneira on tour

How I try to be an Oma from a distance

 

There are many interpretations of being an oma ( grandmother) . My immediate thought would be, "oh, living far apart".  Sadly, for some, that isn't the case and I am well aware that some omas live physically close but have another sort of distance to bridge. And that must be hard. This blog title is about the physical distance many omas have in relation to their grandchildren, yet some of the emotions and experiences do share commonalities.

How to stay in touch? How to create and maintain a strong relationship? How to become and stay a part of each grandchild's life?

I guess that's different for everyone. All I can share is some of the things I do or attempt to do. Maybe there are ideas or possibilities in my sharing that may appeal to you. I'm certainly open to suggestions in the comments should you want to share.

While still living in New Zealand my eldest son moved to Australia. There he established a family and my OmaFarAway existence began. Their home, the farm, wasn't exactly round the corner and the trip to visit was a long one. Then I moved to the Netherlands and after a few years my daughter started her family. That was so hard. I had a job and couldn't 'just' pick up and leave to be with her. I still, to this day, recall when and where I was when the birth phone call came and the emotions that engulfed me. Before the birth of her second child I was able to be there and stayed 7-8 weeks with a visit to Australia sandwiched in between. I had become a jet-setting oma.

The families grew. My youngest son also started his family a few years later and I've attempted to visit every 18 months on average since my departure in 2000. I'm struggling at the moment as Covid19 is a deal breaker. I SO MISS VISITING MY (Grand)CHILDREN. Sorry about the caps! It is so heart wrenching to have not seen them since 2019.

But that's the reality and whilst I struggle with this situation, I am grateful to be alive and well and that they are too. So then, how do I stay connected, in touch, in the picture and involved?

The difference in the ages plays a huge role. I recall my mum on the odd occasion 'complaining' she missed seeing the kids when they grew into teenagers and spread their wings more. That changed again as they grew a wee bit older and were in a different flow of their lives. So it is with grandchildren, the exception ever present of course.

Recently I sent a wee parcel containing two reading books I had written myself. My youngest son also has the youngest family. I know not everyone likes writing, and some prefer drawing or taking photos. With my stories I am present at bedtime in book form. The stories can be read any time of the day but especially the night time read is one I miss. So I thought, let's write them stories. I actually only had that revelation recently. My writing idea developed itself along the way. So the older grandchildren missed out on that. I will however print off some copies so they might later read them to their children. 

For the hobby cook(s), I've made an Oma Cookbook. To keep memorie alive I've created the odd photo album of my visits and of course we have the amazing technology of today so that we can FaceTime and 'just' chat sending messages to and fro.

In 2018 I started a YouTube channel by the same name, OmaFarAway, and make videos of places we visit, things that occupy me, and even in the kitchen I showcase some of my recipes. I was 47 when I became an oma. Regardless of whether I lived close or far, I had a job so wouldn't have been 'free' to be in attendance all the time. Now, 30 years on, I've had to embrace modern technology to utilise this medium to shorten the physical distance and hope that the memories we make, the connections we have, the interactions we share, is enough to make life long memories. To create a bond that may not be what I dreamt of as a child, but is strong enough to keep the relationship healthy, loving and alive.

Being Omafaraway does mean I miss a lot of special moments. I could be quite down in the dumps about that. Of course it hurts at times, but life sends it's challenges and it is up to me to make the most of what I have- not dwell about what isn't! 

How do you experience your 'oma' situation?

Changing seasons - Up North and Down Under

 

Another change in season is upon us. Here, in Europe, spring is beckoning. Winter isn't ready to let go. Like me, farewelling someone or a place I feel at home in can be hard. Dawdling, looking back. Finding ways to prolong the inevitable. Winter will eventually leave us and go find it's purpose elsewhere.

In New Zealand the first signs of Autumn have appeared. Schools are back in full swing after a long hot summer. The evenings are lengthening. A quick dip in the backyard swimming pool will soon just be a memory. Keen to recapture that later in the year when the cycle repeats itself.

The changes in weather also bring changes in behaviour. In availability between me and my loved ones. They are home more, inside. Soon too, the clocks will alter to winter/summer time schedules, like we have been doing for many years. Right now, I have a 12 hour time difference with New Zealand and 10 with Australia. They charge on ahead of us here in Europe. At the end of this month, things will change. And somehow, even though the calculations are easier now, the timing with the change is better. I am looking forward to a few more better planned video contact moments.

Truth be told, I'd rather join them personally. It has been too long since I hugged and saw my family. But alas, we mustn't dwell on what isn't but be thankful of what is. During a recent video moment I promised the children I'd create a 'homework' project for them. The youngest ones that is. The older grandchildren have their high school studies all set out for them,. The primary level children have different schedules and interests for now. So today I am going to get the package sorted and mailed. I'm excited to be able to share my teaching skills in an oma sort of way.

I am so proud of all my grandchildren. Adults, almost adults, almost teens and young people. I have all ages in my 'care' as oma. I love them all with all my heart and appreciate each talent and personality. So diverse and a delight. I know I chose to be an 'oma far away', and never have imagined the emotions, the heartbreak ( at times) and missing you would be. I try to be as much an oma as I can and resign myself ( with difficulty) to all that I can't be. 

On that cheerful note: Sorry mustn't get maudlin, I'm off to be creative for some gorgeous people.

Want some visuals of OmaFarAway. Go to OmaFarAway on YouTube.

Keeping in touch from a distance

Do you have family living overseas? Or are you fortunate to have them in the same country, in the same town even?

Mid 1961 my parents took the plunge and we emigrated from the Netherlands to New Zealand. Due to health issues with my baby brother we returned to the Netherlands early 1967.

Unsettled, family in fits and starts back to New Zealand by mid 1971.

Seesaw immigrants you could say.

In 2000 I returned to the Netherlands on my own. My 28 year marriage had stranded, my children were of adult age and forging their own paths. One son had moved over to Australia in 1997 where he created his own family.

So you could say, we are scattered hither and yon. Each living their lives in the manner personally designed. This is my 21st year back in the Netherlands. It has brought me happiness and pain. Being this far removed from the children en growing grandchildren hasn't been all plain sailing but it hasn't all been terrible either. My main goal was- visit every 18 months, more if possible, less if the needs ( financial) must.

This past year has been a true trial. I haven't been able to even plan a trip let alone make one. I've got the presents. Purchasing the odd thing along the way. They sat and stared at me, pleading to be given and used. I have had to put them in the cupboard. Can't bear to look at them. I want to hand them over myself. See their faces when they open their gift. There is an option to post/ship a box full for everyone. I may have to resort to that.

To fill some of the void, I have written a couple of short stories and had the books printed via a photo album site. I may tape myself reading them and send the file. Had other ideas. Bedtime moment ideas. Those will have to wait.

I have been making videos ( I am an amateur) on YouTube, showing off the places I go to. Teaching them more about this country of their fore-fathers and mothers. Sharing my life in a small way. Another way to reach out instead of being able to tell the tales and describe the events. It fills the time, as I am then totally focussed on them. It feels like I'm visiting. It is one way of creating 'visits'. I especially love the cooking videos, thinking that maybe one day, they may use these recipes themselves.

The videos aren't as personal as you would think. That's because I know other family and friends watch them. I also created a cook book for some of the younger grandchildren with some recipes I use regularly. I have another one on the way for the older grandchildren. A bit more elaborate. Oh how I would love to provide them personally with meals and cakes. This is the next best thing. I love it when I'm told they have used the cookbook or have watched a video.

It's not like we are online every day, all the time. Lives are being lived. School, events, friends, work, time out, time in. Not to mention the juggling the clock and time difference. I think we have a healthy relationship in which we allow each other to share what they choose. It is normal for them and me, to continue to live our life to suit our situation. By doing some of the wee extra things I hope to maintain a bond which in turn brings our lives a little closer.

There is nothing more special that spending time together, even when you are apart. There are so many ways in which one can do that these days. Sadly my grandparents in 1961 didn't have any of the options we have today. I am hopeful for the future. For my next possible visit. I do my best to stay healthy and fit and am grateful for the fact that my family Down Under is safe and well. That is the most precious thing of all.

Further away than ever- but doing a come back.

Good morning, glad you could join me

It has been a while. I have suppressed the urge to write, well no not suppressed so much as not made the space to sit and put into words what I had on my heart. Combined with the fact that I was making videos for on a YouTube channel ( by the same name-OmaFaraway). Like everyone else, I also have 24 hours in my day to fill. For some reason that's not hard and my energy level isn't what it was when I was 50.

I am an OmaFarAway. That implies that I am somewhat separated from my grand+children. And as these past months have been plagued by a world wide pandemic, I feel even more separated than ever. Traveling is not an option at present. You see, I have to travel half way round the world, from the Northern Hemisphere to Down Under to see those I love so dearly.

It's been a hard year for many that I feel almost a gene, a sort of shame, to mention my own woes. I am healthy and plan on keeping it that way. My children and grandchildren too are fine and safe. As safe as one can be in life. The emotions that play a big role in my daily thoughts are those of frustration and loss. It is hard to deal with, especially in times of celebration like this past festive season or with birthdays and special events. Not that I only miss being around them then. Those are cherry on the cake moments. Oh how I'd like to be a fly on the wall in their homes sometimes, just to get a sneak view of what's happening. How are they doing?

It are uncertain times. Not that life is certain, but this pandemic has highlighted many things, including the difficulty of living far away from those who mean so much. A simple solution? No, there isn't one. That too is life. I am where I am and they are where they need to be as well. Roll on the time machine, the Tardis from Doctor Who, or the 'Beam me up Scotty" from Star Trek. I would make use of those options like a shot.

Well, that's my 5 cents worth for today. Be safe, be happy and keep smiling.

Koffer inpakken - time to pack.

Scroll down for the English version

Plannetjes smeden, kleding uit de kast halen, spinnenwebben van de  koffer afstoffen.

Ik vertrek 21 maart. Voor mij is niet alleen de reis leuk maar ook alle voorbereidingen. Ik kan mij nog herinneren dat ik, terwijl ik nog in Nieuw Zeeland woonde, een reis aan het voorbereiden was naar Nederland. Ik was er in geen 16 jaar geweest. Zo spannend. Ik zou in de winter gaan. Drie maanden lang. Mijn jongste zoon, toen 4, ging logeren bij een tante. Er waren 3 kinderen in het gezin. Leuk voor hem om speelkameraden te hebben terwijl ik weg was. De oudste twee bleven thuis bij hun vader. Ze hadden sport, school en speel activiteiten ten overvloed. En uiteraard, zomer vakantie.

Wat moest ik mee nemen. Wat zouden leuke cadeaus zijn? Hoe zou het er allemaal uit zien? Heel erg spannend. Ik voelde me als tiener die hun 'wereldreis' aan het voorbereiden waren.

Nu ga ik voor 2 maanden de andere kant op. Ik hoef geen kinderen te regelen. Het zal dan 2 jaar zijn sinds mijn laatst bezoek. Mijn man heeft al een hele lijst met activiteiten om samen met zijn broer naartoe te gaan. Mijn zwager woont nl in 'ons' appartement gebouw, dus ze zullen vast wel veel met elkaar op trekken. De tijd zal ook voor hem best wel snel gaan. Zo ie zo is het al een bezig bijtje met een mooi en genoegelijk hobby, de natuur. Hij is gids in De Hollandse Biesbosch. Even zonder elkaar is best uit te houden...wij gaan ervan uit dat het tijdelijk is.

Nog twee weken, dan is het zover. Er is een kleinzoon bij gekomen sinds mijn laatst bezoek. De anderen allemaal groter geworden. Ook mijn kleinzoon uit Australië komt naar Nieuw Zeeland. Zo leuk om ze allemaal samen te hebben. Nu maar kijken hoe ik het beste uit mijn tijd kan halen. Er zijn mensen die ik graag wil bezoeken. Ook mijn kinderen hebben verplichtingen en activiteiten waar ze het druk mee hebben. Het is passen en meten geblazen.

Het huis hier krijgt een grondige beurt, de pantry ( ja, ik heb een pantry) is opgeruimd en alle bakjes en potten van namen voorzien. Mijn man kookt best wel graag, toch handiger als hij ook weet wat er allemaal op de planken staat. Ik ben er eigenlijk al grotendeels klaar voor. Nog een paar afspraken voor mijn vertrek en dan is het 'op naar Schiphol'. Wat heb ik er zin in!


Well, the year is off to a good start. I'm flying to New Zealand in 2 weeks time. Will be so lovely to hug and hold all those near and dear to me again. It's been 2 years and that feels far too long.

Although the trip is the highlight and purpose, the preparations are all part of the excitement. Clothes to sort, suitcase to dust off and plans to make. Not that planning is easy. I have a list of things I'd like to do, people I am keen to see and places I'd love to visit. Thing is, I also want to fit in with all the already made plans, programmes and events my children have in their programmes. My grandchildren are all but 2, school going. The eldest is now working, and coming over from Australia to be with his cousins while I am there too.The youngest is a few months old. So there are sporting and club type activities to be taken into account. I've got 2 months- and I bet that'll just fly.

Since my last visit I've become the proud oma of another grandson. So keen to hold him close. The others have all grown so it'll be renewing our friendships and getting to know each other ll over again. Gladly though, it'll be a time to rebuild, not from scratch nut on top of what knowledge already exists.

I've been busy getting the house into tip top shape for hubby the next 8 weeks. The pantry totally organised with all canisters now labelled so he knows what's what. He is quite  a good cook you know. My brother in law lives in our apartment building. They have made quite  a few plans for things to do and go to while I'm away. Time will just fly, Oh I am so ready and eager to gooooo!