Living life as a pensionado

As a child, one lives and walks the path set out by parents. And rightly so.

As an adult, one walks the path chosen either single or married, with or without children.

Then the new stage: Pension time. Married or single, take your pick!

Yes, it goes that fast. In a flash, time hasn't stood still even though there were times when things seemed to never end. Like children's coughs and colds, more work challenges, changes in situations. More challenges. Then, it's one's last day at work! Well, I'm talking paid employment. Before you know it, aged 65 ( or in our case in the Netherlands I was 66+4 months as we slowly work our way to 67 being the new pension age). Now, every month like clockwork,  my wage is automatically transferred from the Government coffers into mine. I feel privileged but also deserving. I worked more than 40 years so feel I am entitled to my pension.

A new road to travel beckons, well I've been traveling on it a year or two now and I've enjoyed every minute to be honest. I don't miss working, full diaries with appointments, meetings and conferences, being at other people's beck and call though I loved my job(s).

What I would have appreciated though, is what YouTube has on offer these days. People talking about retirement and the steps one could take in preparation to this point in one's life. I listen to these pointers and think, "wow, that is so sensible". Or " I wish I'd known that"! Some ideas I did have though. Now I can't speak for my partner of 21 years, as his preparation started separate to mine and his path is his own. I'm just talking about my own personal process here. The filling in of the time wasn't my main focus. The financial stability wasn't an issue in the sense that I knew I'd get a monthly amount, but would that be enough for the situation I would then find myself in? That was such a murky, unclear picture. I know that one of the saving's scheme I had set up for this moment in time was needed much earlier and now isn't available for the top up moments I had previously planned it for. Cé la vie!

Apart from realizing one needs an income at retirement age, how do you prepare? Do you have a separate savings account in which you deposit $50 in every payday, more if you are a more than comfortable earner. Start young. Straight away in fact- with the first pay pakket! No not at the end of the period, but right then and there, when receiving the money. Make it an auto payment. Move it out of sight. Increase it after 5 years even by a small amount. My savings are accumulated on payday. So if I start with that removed out of my current account I have to manage on what's left. It's called budgeting. I'm a bit close to the red line, if you get my drift, for this month, but I'll make it to payday. Anyway, that's just one of the things I did learn from my dad. You don't save what's left, you gather when the money rolls in. Thanks dad. Yes, I have a personal account. We share all expenses, discuss large purchases and aside from that we manage our own personal needs. A bit of autonomy isn't a bad thing. 

Employment stops: Am I bored? Not ever. Have I managed to plot and plan sensibly, no way. Well, I am sensible most of the time with commitments. What I do do however is not to plan too far ahead. That way there is room for the unexpected. Recently my husband and his brother went to Spain for 10 days. So I was Home Alone.

I did not fill my diary with lunch, coffee and dinner dates. Not one! I wanted to be really free to come and go or stay as the mood took me. There were mundane things on my list - which I implemented according to weather conditions. In the drizzly warm rain I cleaned our balcony. Got rid of the winter glow you might say. Easier when wet and not the sort of day you'd go towning and arounding. As the sun now greets me most mornings I too realized the windows needed a good treatment. Now those don't sound very exciting things for a Home Alone time, but believe me, they were. I so enjoyed the results booked with a bit of effort and no interruptions. And for those who read these blogs more regularly, I had two visits with ma, my bonus mother in law, 93 years young. Her washing is all set to be reunited with her, which I'll do tomorrow. 

Then there were the days out. Yes, I did have some. I use my "old lady" train subscription with which, for a very manageable price, I get to travel 7 days free of charge and the rest with 40% discount. So I went roaming our gloaming. Visited a museum I'd not heard of before, a Textile Museum in Tilburg of great international renown it appears, and a day in Middelburg in the province Zeeland. My companion, a neighbor turned friend,  traveled with the privilege of my subscription and received 40% discount on her train ticket. The weather was extremely kind, the lunches and wine on sun drenched terraces on city squares were a pure delight. The company great, the laughs plenty and the accumulated steps on our health app a real bonus. We walked the extra calories off for sure.

It is life back as I know it: My Home Alone days are over. As of yesterday my husband and his brother returned from their special time together. Making their own memories. This too is the fun part of pensionado time. Giving each other time and space to be 'self'. To realize dreams or wishes which can't be realized during one's adult working life. Brothers are important too - not just partners! 

So as we have now entered Easter Weekend 2023 and spring is definitely present, summer beckoning and plans for a road trip being forged, life is good to me, to us. 

Be Good             Be Happy        Keep smiling

Aah, the memories!

On Messenger one morning: Oma for my migration project I need to know how old you are and where were you born and how old were you when you migrated? love Indi.

It is funny when recalling something, whether great or small, that one can almost think it happened recently. That the years between the event and the memory is so minimal that, to quote an old cliche, "it seems like it only happened yesterday". Oh how disillusioned one can become when it appears the 'recent' memory was a lifetime ago. Now that is a bit over dramatized, I'm sure many have experienced the surprise when we realize how time has flown.

Recently one of my grandchildren sent me a questionnaire about my family's immigration process and timeline. Memories flooded back like a huge tidal wave. Not only did my brain shoot into action but so did my emotions. My stomach gave the odd lurch and I was propelled back in time.... it seemed so close, that time. Almost tangible.

It was 1961 and we immigrated to New Zealand. I was 8 years old. The year previous when the first steps were taken, when my parents must have had long discussions and possibly tears and uncertainty, I was oblivious to how my future was going to be shaped by their decision. It wasn't like I ( or to my knowledge my 3 siblings) were consulted at this stage. Parents decided back then, not the children. They looked at their circumstances, the prospects for their children and the possibly quietly hidden private dream held for years. To find a place to live and give their children other, a different and as main reason, a better future.

Then the moment arrived when the stage was set we children were informed of this great event. We were leaving the Netherlands and immigrating to New Zealand. There were passports to apply for, injections to be had, farewells to be made, we started 'decluttering', not a word that was current back then, and we listened to a few radio broadcasts of new immigrants who related their experiences. We had to learn to speak English we were told. Yes and no weren't a problem, but whole sentences, terrifying! Who would understand us? I don't need to underline the fact that this was a scary prospect do I?

A lot has happened in the years after that decision. Life has been good to us though the outcome, the way our family's future was shaped, was not how my parents thought it would be. Of that I am convinced. To say this was a right or wrong decision would be far too simple. It was a decision that shaped us all and that's life. For everyone. Our path is unique to us though some aspects may match other families experiences. My parents lives were honest ones with always the best interest for us children at heart. And who could ask for more than that from a parent?

Be Good               Be Kind               Keep Smiling

Having your world turned upside down

Ninety three years ago ma was born in a small village - and she never left. For 69 years ma has lived at the same address. Till now. Till her world was turned upside down. 

Who is ma?

Ma is my bonus mother in law. I am married to her son in law. The man who was widowed when her daughter died. He kept in touch, as did ma. After a few years he and I met and subsequently married. I am now ma's daughter in law. For the past 20 years we have grown very close and I care deeply for her wellbeing and she for mine. Although not family, she shows interest in my children and grandchildren. She is always thrilled for me when I visit them for longish stretches, she is always very happy to see me return.

On my last visit to New Zealand, the undesired happened. Ma had a brain haemorrhage and was quite ill for some time. Oh the shock and emotions I felt. I was half a world away. So sad and worrying. Ma being ma, she rallied. She is made of tough stuff is ma. Has had her share of challenges and gets up to fight another day. Rehab took some time. From a dynamic, independent and self efficient woman - to now dependent on many for her care. Thankfully ma's personality, clearheaded thinking and will power means she can still participate in the world today keeping up with the news, the events around her and the stories her family and those who care for her, tell. She's mastered the art of a wheelchair. At ma's age, the number of friends around her have dwindled dramatically. Those able, visited faithfully giving her some diversion in the long days at the rehab facility.

Times have changed. Many years ago if one needed care, the choice was yours for the making. To stay in one's own town or place of birth was a natural choice and very understandable. In today's world with the 'greying' population increasing and the facilities not able to meet the demand, where one 'ends up' is not always of one's choosing. And so it is with ma. She has been allocated very comfortable, spacious accommodation with caring staff in a lovely part of the landscape- but not her landscape. Too far for the elderly friends to 'pop in'. Not in her own surroundings and loved place far from the home she lived in for 69 years. It hurts. It hurts her, it hurts her family and it hurts me.

I understand that ma is crushed. Not because the place isn't to her liking, not because she thinks the staff aren't good to her - but in ma's words, " I feel cut off from my world". Will ma find peace with her new situation? Will she ever feel 'at home'? Will there be a possibility eventually that a place closer to her home becomes available? Will she then be physically able to make the move back? So many questions.

I am pleased ma is out the rehab facility - it was a medical situation and ma didn't need that sort of care. It was to tide her over till somewhere was found. I am pleased it is a light, airy, spacious space with a nice sunny position and opportunity to even sit outside. The staff I have met are lovely caring and dedicated people. The service ma gets is great meeting every need - except 'her' people. Her past, her memories. Anyway, I am hopeful that one way or another ma will feel more at ease once she settles in more. Should a place become available in 'her' town, we will cross that possibility when and if it happens. Right now this is what it is and we will support ma in lots of ways to make it bearable and maybe even enjoyable. For now, there isn't anything we can do but be supportive, understanding and loving.

So proud of you ma.

Be good.      Be Kind.           Keep smiling. 

It's all in the planning, the excitement is mounting.

 A clear blue sky, the sun is doing it's best to send warmth on this chilly February Monday. Another month draws to a close in 2023. Is it just me or are the days shorter than last year? Just kidding - well sort of. I somehow feel that I achieve less per day this year than I did last. Why is that? I know in all reasoning that this is ridiculous. There are still 24 hours in the day and seven days in a week. Maybe it's because it is February and there are only 28 days, making the reality of another month dawning just that much sooner than I anticipated. Who knows? I won't go on about it - just thought I'd 'throw it in the group' letting you ponder should you feel so inclined. It is Monday after all! 🤣

This time last year our spring holidays were taking shape quite nicely thank you. We do plan to be away again the month of May this year, and finally yesterday we took the first step to make sure we commit and continue our research and plan accordingly. We are aware of the possibilities, the possible limitations and the age we are, that we need to take and make opportunities when they present themselves. As I mentioned: Time is of the essence! Exciting stuff. I can almost get the feeling the holiday has started - the preparation being part and parcel of the whole experience.

Our last 'big' trip, Re-tour de France, was a great success and I guess we will be measuring this one against it. Despite that being quite unfair. Different country, different rules, different expectations. It would be like comparing apples with oranges. Couldn't make myself say pears - so traditional! 😂

It will again be a road trip. My flying experience of September and December are still a vivid memory and long distance flights enough without wanting to find myself being catapulted once again into that open air space. Keeping the feet ( and rubber) firmly on the ground. I am looking forward to the driving part. More challenges I am sure. Nice thing is when traveling in one's own car, it is comfortable and reliable. I know its quirks. Rentals are an enigma, the unknown quantity. 🚘

Right now we are looking for our second stop, a place to lay our heads to rest and working out for how many days. There is so much to see, explore and enjoy. No, I am not going to disclose the destination just yet. Keeping it exciting. 🪙

So thank you February for being a not too wild a winter month. I'm enjoying the longer daylight hours and the new buds on the trees, the pristine snowflakes and bright crocuses bobbing their delicate heads above the ground. Winter hasn't left the building yet, I am aware of that. Anything can stil happen to make it want to stay and gather strength. We have had no snow to really speak of so that's still very possible. Still, no use conjuring up the whims of Mother Nature. What will be will be. 

🏖️ 🌋 ☔️ ☃️

Should you wish to enjoy some spring from your armchair, here is the link to the:

Playlist of our French get-away!

Till next time

Be Good                    Be Kind                  Keep smiling

World events and other stuff!

As I mentioned in my last blog about a book I was just starting to read, I had to put it down and let it rest a while. Then finally, I plucked up my Dutch Courage, and read on. The book was called, " The Sisters of Auschwitz," by Yvonne van Ieperen. It exposed a darker side of our (my) country's history. Nothing to be proud of. I know, I know, it is all explainable, sometimes even justifiable, but betrayal in my eyes is unforgivable. Easy for me to say in 2023, in my warm home, comfy chair at my desk in my Woman Cave, where the only 'bang' noises I hear is from fireworks the youth so desperately want to let off!

That's the thing and also the theme of today's world. Hindsight can be more of a hindrance than help, whilst I like to think, we need hindsight so we can use the events to learn and adapt our handling during situations which overwhelm us. Not to use to brow beat the past and point fingers, looking for someone to blame.

If I look back on my life's path there are many decisions that I could have made differently. There would still have been a action-reaction, only different. I will never know how different. My imagination could - but that's neither here nor there. 

Recent cyclone weather has hit mostly the North Island of New Zealand. Loss of life. Millions, maybe even billions of dollars in damage, and as the saying goes, " it ain't over yet!". More rain and high damaging winds are on the way. People have been urged to have a minimum of 3 days food and water at the ready. 

In Ukraine the war still rages, as it does in so many countries. In Turkey and Syria death and destruction. With Syria being doubly hit with the conflicts there making bringing aid there difficult. What a tragedy. Too big for words. Drought, hunger greed and animosity. When will the proverbial penny drop?

What a tragic situation we humans are in. We cannot seem to find the recipe for peace and co-operation. Of humanism and altruism. I can imagine people despairing. Of wondering whether it is worth staying around for what seems like more unrest, disaster and sadness.

I am not a pessimist. I firmly believe there is a way. Not a way back, because that is paved with all what is wrong with today's world. But a way forward. To scrutinize the past, admit the bad judgement calls and walk together. We CAN do this. It isn't hard. Let go of wanting to be the best! The first! The mightiest! Stop imposing values YOU alone respect and allow for diversity and uniqueness. Everyone has something to offer. We all count.

It is funny, when I started writing I had such another 'path' I was going to follow. I've let my fingers do the walking of the keyboard. What I do want to add, and then I will rest my fingers, is:

I am 'white', blond going grey, a female, catholic, have social justice as my focus, adopted the verse from Micah ( 8:6) many many years ago as my mantra, make mistakes, am aware of my shortcomings and am sitting at my 'typewriter' so maybe I could be called a " Social Media Cowboy (girl)" shooting from the hip. I am aware if I was to join the conversation about issues I will be judged on that and labelled accordingly. So many thoughts I have a filtered, unsaid and unwritten. Freedom of thought, speech and ideals are no longer free. That makes me sad! 

On a lighter note, as I said, I am not a pessimist, the aid being offered from around the world to grief stricken areas gives me hope, the many organizations which set about helping people in need are many, the realization we need to do something to change our way of life in regard to the environment is being seen as more and more urgent and accepted as a responsibility by all.

Don't just be kind to the neighbor but be kind to the whole neighborhood. And as a friend of mine says at the end of all her videos: "Do something kind for the world today!"

Live Justly

Love tenderly, 

and walk humbly with your God.

Micah 8:6

Be Good.              Be kind.          Keep smiling

Oeps, I skipped December

 "Time flies when you are having fun", or so the saying goes. So I must have been having so much fun in December I didn't have time for my blog. Truth is, I had time, I just didn't have the energy. In fact, I had plenty to write about, only it were all sort of irritations, Moaning Mini items which were a result of world or local news events, happenings in and around the area or just wet, dark and dismal weather influences. Stuff happens!

So here I am on the 11th of January and it's the start of another year in which time will continue to fly. The weather isn't what it used to be this time of year. Not sure whether winter will re-appear after only having been around for about 10 days early December. Maybe it won't be back at all or it won't start till spring. One of the things I am still grateful for is that there isn't a weather dial, well I tell myself there isn't one, so that humans decide on what the weather might be today or tomorrow. Although we do have an effect on the weather by the way we have treated Mother Earth all these years. But that's another moan.

I'm an early riser. In the summer that's quite a different experience than in the winter months where it's dark till after 8am. At the 'height' of winter it is even dark till 9-ish. That makes for a different experience than in summer, where I can sit on the balcony with my morning coffee and welcome the day. It does however, give me more time each day to get things done. I watch videos on YouTube I've subscribed to, there is ample time to chat with friends in different time zones and I get to read the paper and do the crossword - hot of the press so to speak all before 9am when our pensioner life gets going! As we live in an apartment I get to walk downstairs and back up thus bagging the first bit of exercise for the day. A great mini work out, we live on the third floor and there are 54 steps to descend and then climb. My iWatch is pleased with me. 

Having met my commitments to my subscribed channels I then have time to work on my own videos. Editing takes quite some concentration and dedication. The software is great but not without flaws and instabilities. Occasionally after saving my hard work only to find upon resuming the task that the files have miraculously 'gone missing' whilst I haven't done a thing to cause this. So it's back to the drawing board. These days I find myself at my desk working furiously to get the video out in a day. Once converted I am safe. Phew, neck strain, backache but a sense of achievement is soothing ointment for my wellbeing. 

And so I trundle on. I visit my bonus mother in law twice a week, I do the grocery shopping before everyone wakes. Done and dusted by 8:30- I love going early when it is quiet and spacious in the supermarket. No trolley bashing. I try to get a decent walk in each day - though the motivation is sometimes lacking. We may not have the weather we usually do but rain is not a fun weather type to walk in and certainly not to bike in. My bike will be hybernating till spring I am afraid. There is a book I am slowly getting deeper and deeper into, The Sisters of Auschwitz by Yvonne van Ieperen. Heavy reading due to the topic but fascinating at the same time. 

Plans for a break away are in the offing. Last year France was our Valhalla ( check the videos here) This year we have somewhere else in mind, plans follow in a future blog when the plan has taken more shape. 

A few invites noted in the diary and a few dinner parties in the pipeline. The year is shaping up to be quite enjoyable, Now I'd be thrilled with a large win in the lottery as there are some projects I'd like to support both near and far. 

So, 2023, I'll do my best to be a regular spiller of thoughts, frustrations and ideas. Hope the year pans out the way you, my reader, wants it to. Blessings and strengths to you all.

Be GOOD                            Be KIND                          Be HAPPY