How to stay in touch? How to create and maintain a strong relationship? How to become and stay a part of each grandchild's life?
I guess that's different for everyone. All I can share is some of the things I do or attempt to do. Maybe there are ideas or possibilities in my sharing that may appeal to you. I'm certainly open to suggestions in the comments should you want to share.
While still living in New Zealand my eldest son moved to Australia. There he established a family and my OmaFarAway existence began. Their home, the farm, wasn't exactly round the corner and the trip to visit was a long one. Then I moved to the Netherlands and after a few years my daughter started her family. That was so hard. I had a job and couldn't 'just' pick up and leave to be with her. I still, to this day, recall when and where I was when the birth phone call came and the emotions that engulfed me. Before the birth of her second child I was able to be there and stayed 7-8 weeks with a visit to Australia sandwiched in between. I had become a jet-setting oma.
The families grew. My youngest son also started his family a few years later and I've attempted to visit every 18 months on average since my departure in 2000. I'm struggling at the moment as Covid19 is a deal breaker. I SO MISS VISITING MY (Grand)CHILDREN. Sorry about the caps! It is so heart wrenching to have not seen them since 2019.
But that's the reality and whilst I struggle with this situation, I am grateful to be alive and well and that they are too. So then, how do I stay connected, in touch, in the picture and involved?
The difference in the ages plays a huge role. I recall my mum on the odd occasion 'complaining' she missed seeing the kids when they grew into teenagers and spread their wings more. That changed again as they grew a wee bit older and were in a different flow of their lives. So it is with grandchildren, the exception ever present of course.
Recently I sent a wee parcel containing two reading books I had written myself. My youngest son also has the youngest family. I know not everyone likes writing, and some prefer drawing or taking photos. With my stories I am present at bedtime in book form. The stories can be read any time of the day but especially the night time read is one I miss. So I thought, let's write them stories. I actually only had that revelation recently. My writing idea developed itself along the way. So the older grandchildren missed out on that. I will however print off some copies so they might later read them to their children.
For the hobby cook(s), I've made an Oma Cookbook. To keep memorie alive I've created the odd photo album of my visits and of course we have the amazing technology of today so that we can FaceTime and 'just' chat sending messages to and fro.
In 2018 I started a YouTube channel by the same name, OmaFarAway, and make videos of places we visit, things that occupy me, and even in the kitchen I showcase some of my recipes. I was 47 when I became an oma. Regardless of whether I lived close or far, I had a job so wouldn't have been 'free' to be in attendance all the time. Now, 30 years on, I've had to embrace modern technology to utilise this medium to shorten the physical distance and hope that the memories we make, the connections we have, the interactions we share, is enough to make life long memories. To create a bond that may not be what I dreamt of as a child, but is strong enough to keep the relationship healthy, loving and alive.
Being Omafaraway does mean I miss a lot of special moments. I could be quite down in the dumps about that. Of course it hurts at times, but life sends it's challenges and it is up to me to make the most of what I have- not dwell about what isn't!
How do you experience your 'oma' situation?
