A money box, plenty of wishes, hopes and dreams

" Oma, how much is a plane ticket?"

Tickets to and from Europe to Down Under. A variation of prices and opportunities. I receive emails from a site offering flights from NL to Australia and New Zealand.  I have programmed my request to be notified for trips under €1.000,00 so as to only get these special offers.

I have a money box- yes a separate money box into which I deposit any 'left overs' and 'extras' I have at any given time. Some weeks it grows steadily and other weeks it stagnates. But grow it does. And once in a while, when I am dreaming or get a good offer, I get my wee key out of hiding, open my money box and act like a scrooge and count my money!

I dream, I plan, I plot, I figure. When is the best time? How long shall I stay? Shall I stop in Australia first, or on the way home? Will we manage to get the Australians to come to NZ so we can all be together? That way the cousins get to mix and mingle - doesn't happen a lot. The son in Australia loves to have time with his siblings in NZ. Do all the school holidays match up? Shall I take the wee grandies on a trip to Napier again like last time?
And I need time to organise another granddad /oma day.
My former husband and I like to have a special grandparent day with the children- and we always manage to have lots of fun. We even have family meals and I get to cook.

I need time to sort out about my pension this time round. The date is nearing and I need to know what steps to take to set this process in motion. NO IDEA what is necessary to get this off the ground.

So many things to take into account. It isn't just a 'hop on the plane' and get there. It takes thorough planning and organising.

But hey, it is also exciting and adds to the fun. My trip always begins when I start to acknowledge that 'time has come' to 'GET ORGANISED!' It will take a while and I haven't got a date sorted yet - but oh what a lovely event to look forward to.

Sometimes it is harder than I am prepared to admit

Sometimes, like right now, it is harder to admit how much I miss the children both big and small.

I have been blessed with many wonderful people in my life- both here and "Down Under ' my second home.

There have been privileges of sharing in the joys when my friends tell me their sons or daughters are expecting a child, when there is a wedding or special birthday.

When the moment calls for it, I visit, receive visits and get invited to visit friends and their (grand)children.

I buy the odd presents, flowers and other gifts - for whose ever birthday or anniversary I am helping to celebrate. And I love it - feel privileged as I said and more importantly - feel included.

BUT: There are moments when I let my guard down. When it saddens me not being at the granddaughter's horse riding lesson, the soccer games, the kindy trips, bed tucking in times, pancake day.... to name a few special ones. I won't even begin on the 'not so special' moments and many may call them ordinary- I call them precious.

Anyway, some days- It is just harder than I would LIKE..!

Then as I wallow in self pity, I hear a buzz and I grab my phone.

" Oma would you send me a photo of you please, for my messaging?" BUT of course darling I will look one up right now. ( NZ)

And yesterday- while just stepping out of the shower: Phone call ( FaceTime) "Oma I have reached the finals of the speech competition. I just wanted you to know that. And mum promised to send my horse riding photos." - yes I took that call while wrapped in my robe and dripping water all over the floor. (NZ)

Saturday when Daughter in law chatted to me before she embarked on her trip to Melbourne to 'show' her birds. She loves those wee feathered friends to bits. Grandson has a friend over for the weekend- he is doing fine. Son has decided to not shave for a while- warmer that way he says. I am up to date again. ( AUS)

On messages- photos of my granddaughter's 4th birthday- yes we talked on the birthday itself. Now I also have the photos. (NZ)

Then I reprimand myself- see how much 'they' too think about including me in their lives and in all they do.

Well, it just sometimes is 

HARDER THAN I WOULD CARE TO ADMIT!